The art of giving great compliments is harder than you think. So think twice before saying these 7 types of "compliments" that make women cringe.
1. Hot mama
"You're hot." "You're sexy."
You're uncreative and predictable. You'd think being called attractive would flatter a woman. But, let's be honest-there's a big difference between telling a woman she's beautiful and letting her know you're attracted to her. Beauty implies there's something beneath the surface that appeals to you. It's a statement of intention to find out more about the person. "Hot" and "sexy" only serve one purpose: to satisfy your desires.
And, by the way, a hot girl knows how hot she is and has heard it a thousand times before you got there. Trust me-she's bored.
2. Good time gal
"You look like you know how to have a good time." "You look like you like to party."
These statements are a commentary on the assumption that vocalizing your hope for a one night stand will somehow make those dreams come true. These are not compliments. These are solicitations for sex. Nothing more; nothing less. So keep it to yourself.
Conversely, "You seem really fun" must be taken in the context in which it's stated and by whom it's said. If it's said past midnight in a bar or club or past 9 p.m. in a text, walk away, girls.
3. Confidence booster
"You're really confident"
Sounds innocent enough. But if you scratch the surface, what could a woman potentially be hearing? "You're really confident ... when you shouldn't be? For someone like yourself? Unlike those other really annoying insecure girls I hate?" Even if a woman is very secure with herself, speaking on someone's self-esteem is best left for deep conversation, not a pick up line. Don't assume someone doesn't have insecurities.
4. New and improved you
"You look so much better!"
is not exactly the same as "You look great," or "You're always fabulous, but you look much happier now." When a woman has worked on her appearance or appeal and made some self-improvements, tread lightly. Your compliment of the new could be heard as a criticism of the old. And, in the end, the person is still the same. So any compliment (or criticism) should keep in mind the sustained awesomeness of the person.
"You don't rely on your looks"
And "You're approachable" are sort of the antithesis of "You're hot." But it can spark the same repulsive reaction. Beauty is power, but not all powerful people abuse it. Don't assume a lovely lady doesn't use her looks or that power appropriately. Would you praise a salesman for not using his power of persuasion?
Everyone has natural advantages, but many also put in hard work for what they have. If you appreciate a pretty woman not being too conceited to give you the time of day, just show her respect and genuine interest.
6. Full of laughs
"You're actually funny"
This is just an odd thing to say, but it's said a lot. The myth that women aren't funny so a woman who's actually humorous is like a superhero is not only annoying but has serious effects for those in the real comedy business (women I know personally). But, bottom line: when you're trying to get a girl to like you, just say "You're funny," "You make me laugh" or "I always have a good time with you."
7. The anti-chick
"You're not like most girls." "You're not like other girls."
Why? Because I lay eggs or hibernate in the winter? Newsflash: I am a girl, and I am like most girls. You just don't know what most girls are like. You're probably around the same type of girl in the same type of places all the time, so your vision of women is a little skewed. Get out more and the mystery that is the feminine will reveal itself to you. And, in the meantime, just tell me I'm a really cool chick: "You're really awesome, and I love spending time with you."
Bad compliments often focus on the physical, play on stereotypes and forget to consider how the person receiving them might react. Try to give compliments that go beyond the surface, appreciate the person and wouldn't be easy to misinterpret.