Dear daughter, what I wish you understood about porn

Pornography may be exciting or enticing, but it's never worth it.

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  • Dear Daughter,

  • If you haven't come across pornography yet, you will. It's salacious content not only has the power to make you curious, but it can also become addictive. So let's talk about what to remember when you come in contact with it, whether it's for the first time or it already has you in its grip.

  • Pornography isn't real love

  • Love is about selflessness and mutual respect. Pornography, however, comprises the opposite. Men and women are depicted as objects with sexual gratification as their only purpose.

  • In fact, there's an organization out there called Fight the New Drug with the slogan, "Porn kills love." That's because sex is a bonding experience between two people who love and care for each other. The more you let pornography become the standard of what sex is like, the harder it is to recognize it as a fake. Soon, true love becomes dull against the backdrop of the false excitement of pornography.

  • Hiding it won't make it better

  • Whether you're seeing pornography for the first time or the hundredth, don't be afraid to talk to us about it. Hiding it and lying to family and friends will only make it harder to cope with what you're feeling. You may feel ashamed by what you see. You might even question your self-worth, but seeing this stuff doesn't make you worthless, and it certainly doesn't make you any less loved. The sooner you talk to us, the more heartache you will be able to avoid in the long run.

  • Pornography can destroy you

  • If you're not careful, pornography can destroy everything you care about: your faith, your family and your sense of self. There are countless stories of married men and women who have hidden their addiction to pornography from their loved ones, only for it to come out and break the family apart from all the lies and betrayal.

  • Pornography can also rob you of your self-esteem by making you feel bad or uncomfortable. It can make it difficult to stay focused on what really matters, as it may come to a point where the only thing that does matter is satisfying the sexual urges pornography provides.

  • You're not alone

  • Again, whether you just saw pornography for the first time through a friend or a harmless Internet search, or you're already hooked to its titillating material, you may find it both revolting and satisfying. But before you begin experiencing a feeling of filthiness or perversion, or if you feel you're the only one with this mindset, know that you're not alone.

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  • Millions of people feel the same way, whether they want to or not. It doesn't make you filthy; it makes you human. So please, don't feel inferior. The sooner you can talk to us about what you're feeling, the sooner you can feel better.

  • Real love still exists

  • As your peers, and especially boys, get sucked into the falseness of pornography, you may begin to wonder if there's even a point to resisting it. After all, if this is what everyone else expects, won't you be an outsider if you don't do the same? The truth is, real love still exists. There are men and women who, like you, don't believe that pornography is the right way to display love. As you grow older, you will meet men who don't need pornography to feel loved or express it to others. Trust me, the best things in this life are worth the wait.

  • Love,

  • Mom and Dad

  • WebSafety helps parents by keeping them alert about patterns in their child's social media usage and activity. Parents can know if their child is watching pornography by tracking the URLs their child visits. Parents can also know when their child is talking to their friends on social media about the photos they see online. After being alerted about their child's issues with pornography or other online behavior, parents can then know how to have the right kind of conversation with their children. Visit WebSafety's Kickstarter page for more information on how to receive alerts and know more about what your child is watching or doing online.

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Ben lives with his wife, Kilee, and dog, Paisley, in Arkansas. He has a passion for personal finance, sports, and learning. Ben recently started a blog at www.wealthgospel.com where you can find more of his opinions on personal finance. His life goals are to write about personal finance all day and start a non-profit organization to help others become self-reliant and to find their true potential. On any given day, you could find him eating homemade salsa, picking blackberries, or staying up until 3 a.m. to finish a book.

Website: http://www.wealthgospel.com/

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