Stop obsessing about marriage! An open letter to my single friends

Are you or your friends single? Do you want to be married? Have you ever felt like you are doing something wrong? Well, you might be.

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  • To those like me, who seek for marriage, yet find ourselves single it is hard. Often I hear things like "Don't worry, you'll find the one," or "It's just not time yet, keep trying." But it becomes extremely discouraging to keep trying when you have little success. In early February, I was told by a girl that she was not ready for a relationship and wanted to stop dating.

  • I started to wonder, "What did I do wrong?" I realized that I was obsessing about marriage. I wanted to find a wife and start a family so badly that I was scaring away girls. I then found this quote:

  • "To you single women and men who wish to be married I say this, do not give up hope. And do not give up trying. But do give up being obsessed with it. The chances are that if you forget about it and become anxiously engaged in other activities, the prospects will brighten immeasurably." ~Gordon B. Hinckley

  • I was obsessing about marriage, and I needed to stop as it was hurting my dating life, and affecting my happiness. As I read this quote, I asked myself, "What are these other activities that he talks about? What should I do while I am single and trying to find a spouse?"

  • Here are some things we can do to stay anxiously engaged while not obsessing about marriage:

  • 1. Try something new

  • When you are obsessing about marriage and how others view you, it drains your desire to try new things. For example, my local church youth group was having their annual skate night. I had never skated, and last year I was so afraid of looking like a fool in front of girls that I refused to skate. This year at the behest of my friends I got out of my comfort zone and tried something new; I skated! Did I look awkward? Yes, but I was trying something new, and I was living!

  • Try something big or small if you've always wanted to do it, or if you've always been afraid, there is no time like the present to try something new! Remember, you're only single once (#yolo) so make the most of it!

  • 2. Travel

  • Take advantage of this time being single. Once you are dating or married you won't be able to travel as much, if at all. So plan a fun road trip, experience the culture around you. Plan a trip and start saving today.

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  • Travel can provide you with many opportunities to share what you are passionate about, plus have many culturally refining experiences. It will broaden your understanding of others, and expand your knowledge about other's beliefs. I know I am thankful for my road trips.

  • 3. Set up smart habits and routines

  • Take advantage of the chance you have while you are single to set up smart habits and routines. You may be tempted to delay these actions, but they will not become easier once you are married.

  • Some good habits are things like daily scripture study, morning and evening prayer, saying thank you, or writing in a journal. Routines are personal and a lot harder to establish. Take for example establishing a healthy exercise routine; you are the only one that can determine what is a healthy routine for your life. As they say, routines should help you avoid sin and reach your potential.

  • 4. Set goals

  • One of the biggest mistakes I see young single adults make is they stop setting goals. They fall out of the habit of making goals, and because they stop making goals, they stop progressing. Remember from Proverbs 29:18: "Where there is no vision, the people perish: but he that keepeth the law, happy is he."

  • 5. Continue to learn

  • No matter your stage in life, you should always continue to learn within your chosen field or profession. Seek to increase your skills by education; either by schooling or by seeking out a mentor, always work to enhance your craft, and learn new skills. As Mahatma Gandhi said "Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever."

  • 6. Go on a humanitarian mission

  • A humanitarian mission is a short 1-4 week mission trip to a third-world country. A trip where you help build homes or schools, dig wells, or teach English. Basically, it is a humanitarian mission helping people and experiencing the culture. This type of mission trip is an amazing experience!

  • An example is Color My World.Color my world is run by the Hughes family who is from New Hampshire. Color my World is a non-profit that runs humanitarian missions in Nicaragua, Peru, Costa Rica, and the Dominican. People go from 1-6 weeks and build schools, houses, and experience the local culture, and work with the people.

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  • What do you do to really lived life?

  • This article was originally published on mylifebygogogoff.com and has been republished here with permission.

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My name is Jeremy Goff, my nick name is Gogo (Hence my life by Gogo Goff) I born in Denver and raised in Orem Utah.I am passionate about many things, I love to write and share my thoughts, I love to cook, spending time with my family, and I am extremely passionate about politics, and religion. I travel all over the nation for work, and love to visit temples and share the Gospel along the way!

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