To my husband, now that I'm a mom

As a mom, I'm scared and I need you. But most importantly, I'm sorry.

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  • Dear husband, I want to apologize to you.

  • I woke up this morning thinking about how much our lives have changed ever since we have become parents.

  • We used to live life on the edge, party when we wanted to and travel wherever we could - spontaneously. But today ... everything is different. Our late nights out are early nights in because I'm constantly exhausted.

  • WE hardly ever go out alone. WE never spend enough time together ... and WE don't communicate the way we used to.

  • Our 1 hour phone calls are now 5 minute instructions - calls that tell you what to buy before you come home.

  • I'm not the person that I used to be. I'm not the bride that you married; I know I'm not fun anymore and that is what worries me.

  • I am now a mom and my priorities have changed - but to you, I'm supposed to be a wife. The wife that used to make you smile and surprise you.

  • My hair is always in a mess and my dressing style has changed - I was hoping to wear that Little Black Dress a month after giving birth but that isn't happening because I still can't fit into it. I was hoping to look sexy for you tonight so we could rekindle our romance but that isn't happening because our newborn is irritable and just threw up on me.

  • I don't know what you are thinking any more and that scares me

  • Every time I try to kiss you, our newborn screams. Every time I try to hug you, our toddler interrupts.

  • I need you to understand me and the change that I am facing.

  • I need you to be patient with our relationship and hold my hand on this path that we are walking on.

  • I need you to communicate with me and share what is on your mind.

  • I didn't expect it to be this overwhelming but it is. I'm torn between my kids and husband even though I shouldn't be. I wish that I could give you the same undivided attention but I can't. I thought that I would have enough time but I don't.

  • I'm sorry that I put our relationship on the side line, while I focus all my energy on our toddler and newborn.

  • I'm sorry for not giving you the attention that you deserve.

  • I'm sorry for making empty promises and ignoring you.

  • I'm sorry for not kissing you goodbye this morning because instead ... I had to change a dirty diaper.

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  • I guess we didn't realize just how much everything would change. Some for the better while others for the worse (you know what I'm talking about).

  • I want you to know that your bride still exists. She just needs time to figure out how to return.

  • She needs to gain the confidence she's lacking at the moment ... She needs you to tell her she's sexy even after having 2 kids.

  • I feel different. I look different.

  • I know that you feel like you are sharing me but trust me it won't last forever. One day our kids will grow up and we will be dating again.

  • I want you to know that our romance hasn't ended. We will get back those moments that we shared once upon a time.

  • I need you to love me even when I push you away. I need you to hug me when I'm standing naked by my closet staring at my clothes. I need you to kiss me when I'm overwhelmed with tears in my eyes.

  • I have realized that being a good mom is making me a bad wife but thank you for tolerating it.

  • Thank you for loving me even when I'm moody.

  • Thank you for calling me pretty on the days I feel ugly.

  • I know I haven't said this in a long time, but I LOVE YOU. You are important to me and I promise to remind you just how much I love being married to you.

  • You never complain and that is what amazes me. You are an amazing father and I will always treasure you.

  • Editor's note: This article was originally published on You, Baby and I. It has been repubilshed here with permission.

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I’m Shan, Mom of two who works from home and gets very little sleep. I’m a South African mommy blogger who loves sharing her views and favorite brands.

Website: http://www.youbabyandi.com

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