I woke up this morning thinking about how much our lives have changed ever since we have become parents.
We used to live life on the edge, party when we wanted to and travel wherever we could - spontaneously. But today ... everything is different. Our late nights out are early nights in because I'm constantly exhausted.
WE hardly ever go out alone. WE never spend enough time together ... and WE don't communicate the way we used to.
Our 1 hour phone calls are now 5 minute instructions - calls that tell you what to buy before you come home.
I'm not the person that I used to be. I'm not the bride that you married; I know I'm not fun anymore and that is what worries me.
I am now a mom and my priorities have changed - but to you, I'm supposed to be a wife. The wife that used to make you smile and surprise you.
My hair is always in a mess and my dressing style has changed - I was hoping to wear that Little Black Dress a month after giving birth but that isn't happening because I still can't fit into it. I was hoping to look sexy for you tonight so we could rekindle our romance but that isn't happening because our newborn is irritable and just threw up on me.
I don't know what you are thinking any more and that scares me
Every time I try to kiss you, our newborn screams. Every time I try to hug you, our toddler interrupts.
I need you to understand me and the change that I am facing.
I need you to be patient with our relationship and hold my hand on this path that we are walking on.
I need you to communicate with me and share what is on your mind.
I didn't expect it to be this overwhelming but it is. I'm torn between my kids and husband even though I shouldn't be. I wish that I could give you the same undivided attention but I can't. I thought that I would have enough time but I don't.
I'm sorry that I put our relationship on the side line, while I focus all my energy on our toddler and newborn.
I'm sorry for not giving you the attention that you deserve.
I'm sorry for making empty promises and ignoring you.
I'm sorry for not kissing you goodbye this morning because instead ... I had to change a dirty diaper.