You've been married for a while now. The wedding pictures have a little layer of dust on them, sharing a toothbrush has lost its grossly romantic charm, and life has since returned to a regular routine. Of course you love your husband, but do you still have a crush on him? Don't let love replace those dating jitters you used to feel; here's how to get them back:
1. Make the unexpected exciting
Remember when you hoped it was him when someone knocked on the door or you heard your phone ring? Get that feeling back. Let yourself break into a smile when he comes into the room. First, it might take some pretending (after all, it's no surprise your husband is going to be the one you are Netflixing with tonight), but try to capture that level of anticipation and excitement you first had when you were dating.
While sweats and ponytails might be appropriate married date night attire, there is no way you would dress up like that for your first date with your beau. Snag a new sweater or pull out that long forgotten lipstick to get dressed up for your man. Test out your date outfit in front of a mirror or get feedback from a friend. Put that same level of attention into your looks you did when you were dating.
3. Ask for the girls' input
At the beginning of your relationship, you didn't dare send a text without your girlfriends to help you analyze every cryptic word. Get that flirty feeling back by going out for a girls night to brush up on your analysis skills. Talk up Mr. Wonderful to your girlfriends, not in a braggy way but just to capture that familiar, detail-oriented relationship you had when you and your husband were dating.
4. Get giddy about physical touch
Now in your married days, holding hands and a peck on the cheek come as natural as breathing, but that wasn't always the case. Remember that anticipation of "accidentally" brushing elbows? Anyway you can, recreate that giddy feeling of wondering if he's going to grab your hand during your walk together down the hall.
5. Enjoy learning new things about him
When you start dating someone, there's a weird sense of joy in finding out you both love the same band or both eat the marshmallows first in a bowl of Lucky Charms. While some of those surprises have already been found out, spend time today or this week finding out something new and quirky your husband likes that you also love.
When you were dating, you may have not admitted it early on, but you daydreamed. You imagined what your name would sound like with his last name tagged on the end or how much fun you and his sisters would have shopping together. Just because you got married, doesn't mean that projection should end! Keep imagining the adventures you'll have or what your next house will be like, even if it feels silly.
7. Tell your diary about him
While your journals about past boyfriends read like dramatic teen novels, there's something to be said about writing down your guy's cute little phrases or keeping love post-it notes in a notebook to flip back on later in life. Record the tiny moments with your husband. Even though he always says I love you before he leaves the house, write it down like it's the first time you've heard it.
Get back that anxious feeling when he's about to kiss you. He may lean in for a quick peck before work, but stall the minute by fiddling with you hair or glancing between his eyes and his lips. Kiss your husband tentatively, like you first did when you started dating.
Even though you both are happily married and living in your "ever after," don't leave behind the playful anxiety of first dating. Don't forget to like your husband as well as love him.
Emily is putting her English and Humanities degree to use editing and writing all over the world. Trying to see all 7 world wonders (while visiting as many countries as she can in between), Emily loves wandering alleyways, beautifully photographed food, stumbling upon impromptu flea and food markets. She can usually be found camera in hand, munching on a street food and never has her headphones out of reach.