I will be the first to say that I absolutely cringe when I see a wife who treats her husband like a small, helpless child. However, there are plenty of things we do as mothers for our children that could definitely benefit the husband and wife relationship (with some tweaking of course!).
Here are 9 ways you're a better mother than a wife and ways to incorporate them into your marriage:
You give your kids endless kisses
Every time your kids leave the house, you drop them off at school, you send them off to bed, or at random times during the day, you kiss your kids. You wouldn't feel right sending them off without one. So, why don't you and your husband exchange the same symbol of love?
Is your husband not the kissing type? Perhaps it just seems that way. Make a point to give your husband a kiss hello and goodbye at every opportunity. Catch him off guard with a soft kiss during the day. After all, kissing is the universal sign of love. Don't leave your hubby out.
You butter your kids' toast
Again, I don't mean treat your husband like he is helpless. You butter your kid's toast probably because he can't. Well, regardless of why you do it, you do it because you love helping your child. Do small acts for your spouse too, like buttering his toast or roll, to show him you care about him. It seems silly, but I have personally seen a big change since doing this. He knows I am thinking of him. And, because I've made a more conscience effort to do so, I do think of him more.
You nurse your kids back to health
Isn't it funny how your kid can throw up on you and you still want to snuggle with them after? Well, I for one might vomit if my husband threw up on me, but that doesn't mean I shouldn't snuggle him after. It doesn't matter if you are one or 100; if you are sick, you need some lovin'! Bring your husband soup in bed. Put a straw in his Gatorade. The good thing about this is that your husband will more than likely return the favor after you catch whatever he had!
I am guilty, guilty, and guilty of this. It seems like I normally only talk to my husband about something funny the kids did that day or something stressful that went on with the kids. I seldom talk about anything else. This is partly because most my days are spent with the kids, but that doesn't mean that's all going on. Make it a point to talk with your husband about other things that are important to you and important to him. Take time to ask him about his day. Daydream with him. Get back to the "getting to know you" stage. It actually is pretty fun.
You make time for each kid one on one
Having more than one kid can make you feel like you don't have enough time and attention to go around. In comes the mommy and me dates. Well, what about one on one time with your husband? Squeeze in a lunch date while the kids are at piano. Drop by his office after you drop kids off to school. The laundry can wait. Trust me, it's not going anywhere. Not only will the time alone be beneficial to you and your husband, but it will show your kids that you guys still care about one another. Set the example for them. They will appreciate it later in life.
You overly praise your kids
Your kid brings you a finger painting smeared with paint and what looks like boogers, and you are over the moon proud of your little man for his creativity. Your husband puts the dishes in the dishwasher wrong and everything breaks loose. Stop holding your husband to your standards. Simply be happy he did the darn dishes. Make sure he knows you value him and you appreciate him.
You stand up for your kids no matter what
You would never bad-mouth your kids to your friends, so don't bad mouth your husband. Although it is important to have someone to talk to, you should not air out your husband's dirty laundry to the girls at yoga.
You make them cupcakes just because
Your son or daughter seems a little down. You decide to make them their favorite cookies to cheer them up. Nine out of ten times this works. It will work for your husband too. Leave him his favorite treat in the car with a note taped to the steering wheel. Make him his favorite dinner after you hear he had a bad day at work. It might not solve the problem, but it can make him feel good knowing you are aware of how he feels.
You don't yell at kids. That's a common known fact. So, why is it okay to snap at your spouse and expect them to correct the wrong? If you want your kid to feel safe and secure, you calmly talk to them. Do the same for your husband. He is just as much human as your kids. His emotions work the same way. Sometimes, a fight happens and harsh words are spoken. That is normal. Just make sure to apologize later and correct the wrong just as you would if it were your child.
Our kids are only ours for a short time. We will love them forever, but if you do your job right, they will leave and create a life for themselves. Your husband is with you for eternity. Make sure you nurture the relationship and make eternity pleasant.