Doing this one thing can destroy your marriage

Having this one thing in your marriage can completely destroy it.

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  • Marriage is built on principles of love, mutual trust and respect.

  • These foundational principles help to bind both the husband and the wife together. This type of foundation is the kind that can be built upon.

  • There is one thing, however, that can completely destroy these particular core values of marriage: pornography.

  • No matter what your opinion is on the matter of pornography — whether you don't mind it, find it repulsive, or think it can be something used to spice up your sex life — in the end, pornography can destroy your marriage.

  • You may not realize that pornography can act like a harmful bacteria or virus, implanting itself in your marriage until it spreads so deeply that there is no way to cure it; but here is how it does:

  • It changes the way your husband looks at you and women in general

  • Research has proven that, because of the degrading manner in which women and sex are shown in R-rated sexual entertainment, even limited amounts of exposure to it causes men to start to objectify women, and to see them as less valuable.

  • Your husband loves you the way you are and for who you are, and you would never want that to change. Pornography can take away the respect he holds for you, which can be extremely damaging to your marriage.

  • It creates the association of pleasure with an image rather than a person

  • Porn stimulates the arousal centers in the brain. When it's accompanied by sexual release, then a chemical reaction happens and hormones are released.

  • When this happens with your husband or wife, you associate that arousal or pleasure with them, which then creates a bond and feelings of love and tenderness toward one another. But when it occurs more and more often by viewing pornography, the association then turns from your spouse to a video, idea or picture.

  • It takes love out of the equation

  • Sex between a husband and a wife should be more than just sex; it should be making love. However, pornography takes love out of the equation and turns it into a physical act just to receive gratification, rather than a bonding experience.

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  • Not only is this selfish, but it can create feelings of contempt and inadequacy for the spouse who knows that their husband or wife is basically using them as an object rather than a person to be loved.

  • It can become an addiction

  • A Cambridge University researchers discovered that when porn addicts watched X-rated material, the "addiction" part of the brain "lit up like Christmas trees" on scans. A study published in JAMA Psychiatry in 2014 found that, over time, as people viewed porn regularly, it seemed to dull their response to sexual stimulation; so, like drug users, they increasingly needed more.

  • According to the Co-director of the Sexual Trauma and Psychopathology Program at University of Pennsylvania, "Pornography addicts have a more difficult time recovering from their addiction than cocaine addicts, since ... pornographic images stay in the brain forever."

  • Do yourself and your marriage a favor by eliminating pornography from your lives. Keep that foundation of love, mutual trust and respect strong and grounded, rather than weak and ready to crumble.

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Tamsyn Valentine is part of the content team at FamilyShare.com. She graduated with a degree in communication with an emphasis in public relations and journalism.

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