Living in close quarters with someone means there's bound to be some things that start to bug you about the other person. Pet peeves, annoyances, and disagreements start to trickle into a relationship, no matter how in love you are.
However, this doesn't mean your marriage is headed for divorce; it actually can mean quite the opposite.
Allowing your flaws to hang out means you're comfortable
"While it may seem counterintuitive, driving each other nuts from time to time can simply mean you're comfortable enough with each other to show the true side of yourselves, according to relationship coach Kira Asatryan," stated a recent Women's Day article. This means you've stopped putting your best behavior forward, gotten past the "honeymoon" phase of the relationship, and maybe even feel confident that your spouse will love you even with your flaws.
If you're annoyed, that means you still care
The article also states that being annoyed shows you're still emotionally invested in the relationship. It means you care about your spouse and your relationship, which is a really great thing. If not, you would likely develop apathy and avoid your spouse altogether.
While it's good to feel comfortable and still be emotionally attached to your marriage, this doesn't mean you don't have to work on your relationship and these little (or big) annoying habits you have. For a marriage to be healthy, you need to work through problems-big and small-to improve your relationship with each other and make your marriage happier.
Discuss what's bugging you
Because little things often fester and turn into big things, it's important to address them before they get out of hand. If something is bugging you, talk about it with your spouse and find a way to compromise or find a solution to the problem or behavior that needs to be dealt with. If you're the one causing the issue, take responsibility and work to change it.
Share positive traits with each other too
It can be a major downer to always hear what you're doing wrong or what's annoying your spouse, so make sure you take time to talk about the good things. Share what you love about your spouse. Thank your spouse for the improvements he or she has made to resolve an annoying habit. Change is hard, so be encouraging, don't nag or belittle. Celebrate achievements. We always have things we can improve, but that doesn't mean there aren't things we are already doing well.
Being annoyed is actually a good thing because it shows you still care about your relationship, and that you are comfortable with your spouse. However, we can still make improvements when you know you are doing things that annoy your spouse, or gently talk to your husband/wife when there's something he/she is doing that bugs you.
As you fix the little problems in your marriage, your relationship will grow and get stronger. You will learn to communicate better with your spouse and love him/her more deeply.
Wendy is a regular contributor for familyshare.com and does media reviews. Website: https://survivorshopeandhealing.wordpress.com/ for victims of sexual abuse. Blog: https://wendyejessen.wordpress.com Twitter: @WendyJessen