Sharing your desire to have a child can be a joyous occasion. But there are some circumstances that could cause stumbling in getting the words out.
Here are 4 more real reasons you may not be forthcoming about wanting kids:
1. Baby crazy
Around age 30 it seems both men and woman without children hit this evolutionary hurdle that jumpstarts them into baby-making mode. All of a sudden people who never discussed wanting children can't seem to keep anything else on their minds.
These new maternal and paternal feelings can hit hard and take over your world. The feelings of fear and the disruptive nature of children suddenly dissolves into a deep desire for the love and dependence of an innocent life. This abrupt change of heart can leave family and friends puzzled and more than a little skeptical of the real reason for this drastic change. Not to mention the need to question their true ability to care and sacrifice for another person for at least 20 years of their life.
2. Childless friends
Bringing up baby talk amongst a group of proud, child-free friends could be well supported or heavily questioned. When surrounded by people who have opted to leave their legacies on this earth in a non-biological manner, you may hit some resistance by disrupting the common theme in the group.
The pregnancy and child could be a welcomed addition into the schedule of festivities, or a saddle your villagers choose to distance themselves from. When you choose to have a baby among a child-free tribe, you'll have to trust you'll get the love and support you need to raise your baby in a village that wants to help it thrive.
3. Full house
Announcing you want yet another child in a house that is already bursting at the seams with offspring may not be taken well by most. Conventional wisdom says not just to have children because you can, but to only have and rear the children for which there are enough resources: food, shelter, love and affection, for example. When these necessary commodities are already scarce, allowing yet another pregnancy could put your household and your community ties in danger.
Each child needs a lot, and if your friends and neighbors don't think you can't handle what you already have well enough, you may end up answering to a higher authority who takes the decision out of your hands. The welfare of the child is put first, so before adding one more, ask yourself, "How many is too many?"
Whether you're a teen who became pregnant and chose adoption, a longtime deadbeat dad, or a free spirit with no strong ties anywhere, deciding it's time to settle down, and change your past ways could be hard to believe for those who felt that wrath of your ways. Rebels with a pause may not be looked at as the best parenting material and likely don't have a strong track record of being stable and responsible.
The rolling stone, the starving artist, and the recovering addict have a lot to prove to be seen as capable of raising a happy, healthy child. Old habits die hard and history tends to repeat itself, so it may be an uphill battle to get your friends and family on your side when it's time to make major changes in your life and bring up baby.
If you're struggling to spread the word about expanding your family, be sure to think things through long and hard. If your underlying reasons are real and meaningful, and you are ready and able to take care of a helpless life, break the news gently and start your new journey.