Can your marriage survive Donald Trump?

You and your spouse could find yourselves in a 'yuuuuge' argument over Trump.
Feb 26, 2016

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  • GOP front-runner Donald Trump can be a polarizing figure.

  • Just hours after Thursday night's Republican debate, there was a divide among political pundits and pollsters about how the presidential hopeful performed. While many commentators said Florida Sen. Marco Rubio truly won the eventattacking and belittling Trump in the process — a series of polls indicated that audiences believed Trump was victorious.

  • Split decisions over Trump are popular among politicians, too. On Friday morning, New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie, who was one of Trump's biggest critics when Christie was running for president, announced his endorsement for the real estate mogul.

  • This isn't just among political insiders, though. It seems American couples are also divided on their feelings for Trump, leading some couples to feel that their marriage is at risk, according to The Wall Street Journal.

  • Take, for example, the Hinmans, a couple who has been married for 35 years. Jon Hinman has long supported Trump, even though his wife Jeannine can't stand the GOP front-runner, WSJ reported.

  • "It's making it a testy time," Jeannine Hinman told WSJ. "I know we'll weather this storm, but there are moments when I think, 'I have no idea who you are.'"

  • But it's not just the Hinmans who are worried about this issue. Ronica Cleary, a journalist for FOX-5 in Washington, D.C., published a Twitter poll that asked followers if they thought a couple could survive if one partner supports Trump and the other doesn't. The poll's most recent numbers show a split decision on that, too, with 46 percent saying that couples can't work out their Trump issues.

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  • It's unclear how this will all shape out for couples. Trump still has a long way to go to be the presidential nominee, so this may only be a temporary hiccup in American relationships. But, at the same time, this divide tells us something about how couples deal with disagreements.

  • Couples have disagreements all the time. Research has found that married spouses will argue 2,455 times a year — that's about seven times a day, according to Daily Mail. More than half of the arguments are based around the couple's sex life or one partner not saying "I love you enough," the research said.

  • But having disagreements can be good for your relationship. In fact, 44 percent of married couples believe fighting once a week can help couples communicate, according to The Minnesota Star Tribune.

  • And a 1989 study found that having disagreements over large and small marital issues can help couples stay together for the long-term, according to The New York Times. This is especially true when couples have arguments in which both partners freely express their anger and disagreements.

  • This study went against the conventional wisdom at the time that couples who often fight will see their relationship fall apart, the Times reported.

  • ''We were puzzled to find that the patterns that made some couples complain they were dissatisfied led to improvements in the relationship as time went on,'' John Gottman, a psychologist at the University of Washington, told the Times. ''I thought at first there was an error in our techniques — it went against all prevailing wisdom. Marital therapists rarely recommend that couples have a fight, and rarely saw couples who wished to.''

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  • Finding peaceful resolution during an argument isn't always easy, but some experts have worked to share their insights into how married couples can disagree without killing their marriage.

  • Journalist Tim Dowling — who wrote a book on the matter, called "How to Be a Husband" — is one of those experts. As The Washington Post reported, Dowling suggests couples understand that not all arguments end in one day or a singular fight. Sometimes it takes multiple days to settle the bigger issues.

  • Spouses should also be aware that partners rarely "forgive and forget," so the argument topic is always worth bringing back up so that partners can settle the issue completely, the Post reported.

  • Partners should also own up to their own errors. So if you're wrong, you're wrong.

  • Couples may also want to make sure that they're always on the same page for minor life issues, like highway ettiquette or where the best restaurant is, the Post reported.

  • And Dowling says couples need to know that there's always room for healing.

  • "Never underestimate the tremendous healing power of sitting down together from time to time to speak frankly and openly about the marital difficulties facing other couples you know," the Post explained.

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Herb Scribner is a writer for Deseret Digital Media.

Website: https://twitter.com/HerbScribner

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