Alright, "awful" may be a strong word, but there are some pretty awful things you definitely don't want creeping into your marriage! Your wife deserves better than a husband with any of these 7 shocking habits.
1. Constantly belittles and criticizes
Since when did calling your wife out on every little thing she doesn't do your way become normal? When did belittling your wife, whether in her presence or not become appropriate?
Please watch yourself, and don't get caught in the trap of criticizing your wife. Choose to see the good in your wife. Compliment her on all the things she is doing right. Next time you find yourself wanting to tell her something you don't like about her, switch it around and pay her a sincere compliment. She will love it.
2. Uses her for sexual pleasure
Please, husbands! Your wife isn't your sex toy or an object to perform for your pleasure. She is your wife, your best friend, and your queen. She deserves your utmost respect, especially when it comes to sexual intimacy.
Always respect her and her body, and work on establishing emotional connection and trust before thinking about sharing sexual intimacy with your wife. Sex can be the most unifying, fulfilling, and beautiful thing in marriage, when you both treat each other respectfully.
3. Treats her like a child
Believe it or not, you aren't always right. And your beautiful wife is actually very good at making her own decisions (and typically she makes very good decisions). So stop feeling like you need to control where she's going, what she's doing, how much she's spending, etc.
Instead of stressing about that, work together as a team, encouraging and supporting each other. Let your wife be her own person, and give her wings to fly. You'll be amazed at how happy you become (and how much better your marriage gets) as you encourage her in positive ways and give her the freedom to be who she is - the most gorgeous, talented, and wonderful woman who ever walked the planet earth!
4. Is lazy around the house
Seriously? You may bring in half the income, or all of it, but that doesn't mean that you should chill on the couch while your wife cleans, tidies, and washes day-in and day-out. Kick it up a notch and offer to help out. Clean the toilet (yes, the one you use every day), carry in the groceries, or unload the dishwasher (oh, the horror!).
You and your wife are a team and ought to work side by side creating the home of your dreams. If you really want to impress your wife, offer to help with the deep cleaning the week before guests come into town. She will love you for it and will probably want to make love with you all over those clean sheets you just put on the bed.
5. Gets uncontrollably angry
You are a grown man.Yelling at your wife is not appropriate, effective or helpful. Hitting is completely off limits. Rage, lashing out, throwing things, and threatening are all forms of abuse. Hopefully, these actions are not part of your marriage, but if they are, stop it. Now. That type of negative behavior simply doesn't help any situation. You can learn to control your temper. You can learn to respond calmly, cooly, and with love. As you do, your wife will feel safe with you and love being around you.
6. Views pornography
This is one sure way to ruin your marriage, your life, and your future. Simply put, don't view pornography or let your eyes linger everywhere you go. Look inward and decide to choose a better path.
If you are entrenched in the ugly habit of pornography, seek out professional help, there are many great resources to turn to. Find a counselor who can help you begin the process of becoming free from this addiction. You have to want change for yourself, and for those you love. So dig deep and decide what kind of life you really want.
7. Has unreasonably high expectations
The last thing your sweet wife needs to hear is that she doesn't measure up to your unrealistic expectations. Please don't compare your wife's body, budgeting skills, or parenting skills to so-and-so down the street. Your comparisons will, overtime, crush her self-esteem. Of course your wife should be able to take some gentle, constructive guidance about ways she can improve, but there are much more effective ways to communicate this than hurtful comparisons.
Decide to be kind, to be patient, to be forgiving, and to be flexible. The more you emphasize all of her positive qualities, the more she will naturally start living up to those positive compliments and become the woman you describe (and more!).
Aaron & April are the founders of Nurturing Marriage, a website dedicated to strengthening marriages. They enjoy playing football with their two little boys, watching sports, eating cereal late at night, and going out for frozen yogurt.