Meet the real-life Cupid

This woman from New York City is 3-5 so far in setting up couples. She's basically a real-life cupid.
Feb 12, 2016

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  • Hana P. Alberts is the real-life cupid.

  • Since she first helped a pair of friends get hitched in 2009, Alberts has devoted some of her time to setting up potential soul mates. And so far, she's 3-for-5 over the last six years, showing she has about the same success rate as that baby flying around in a diaper. Get this woman a quiver of arrows!

  • And, her process is simple.

  • "My thought process spans the physical and emotional: I try to unearth details about what attracts them to other people and line up compatible personalities who fit the bill," she wrote for the New York Post. "We're looking for both chemistry and common interests here!"

  • Alberts' first success came in 2009 when her friend from college expressed his interest in smart women, but was tired of New York's "dating scene." So she gave him the number of a friend she knew who was witty and smart. They have since gotten married and even had a baby in 2014, she wrote.

  • Her next success came in 2010. Her friend asked to meet her for coffee, but Alberts' scheduled was booked. So she recommend her female friend to a 29-year-old male lawyer who could show her around the city. Those two were married in 2013.

  • The last time Alberts succeeded was in 2012 after her friend Michael Stewart couldn't find a girlfriend. She hooked him up with Kate Berry, and the two are due to be married in May.

  • "Not every match I made worked. Two red-haired journalists didn't feel sparks, while the friend of a family friend wasn't ready for a commitment with my high school bestie. My batting average hovers around .666," she wrote for NY Post.

  • But Alberts admits she's not the only matchmaker out there trying to get single people together. And she's right. In fact, about 38 percent of American couples contacted in a Mic survey said they met through a friend they had in common — a matchmaker.

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  • This is mainly because friends often trust their others friends' judgements about potential partners. And, as Mic reported, friends in the same social circle often have similar interests, which makes it easier to keep the relationship going long-term.

  • Research backs this idea. A 2014 study from Cornell University and the University of Indianapolis found that partners who met through friends, families or communities felt they had a bigger support network in their relationships, which allowed them to tackle relationship issues a lot easier in the long run. That is to say, they received positive reenforcement when times got tough.

  • But matchmaking doesn't just make couples happier, it also helps the matchmaker find happiness. Research published in Society for Personality and Social Psychology found that matchmakers find satisfaction when they set couples up.

  • "If you follow your instinct to play Cupid this Valentine's Day, it'll pay off in happiness — not necessarily for the new couple, but definitely for you," Science Daily said about the study.

  • The researchers used four studies to arrive at that conclusion, including one that looked at surveys, another at computer games and two others that involved "in-lab social interaction to show when and why" matchmakers are often happier.

  • Among several findings — including one that showed people felt less happy about a potential relationship when they were paid to go on a date with someone — the study found that matchmakers especially find happiness when they arrange a date for two people who could not be more different. They feel a thrill from having such a rare success, the study said.

  • "There are many reasons why people make matches," Lalin Anik, a post doctoral fellow at Duke University, said to Science Daily. "Matchmakers may be proud that they have the social acumen to recognize a social link that others hadn't. … People enjoy being the key person who made that critical match between newlyweds or between business partners who started a successful venture."

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  • But for prospective matchmakers out there — be careful with how often you try to match your friends. Providing the wrong match could cause a disturbance in both your friendship with someone and their potential lover.

  • The researchers suggest making matches you know can work, unlike lead character Michael Scott from "The Office."

  • "In a Valentine's Day episode, Michael Scott introduces Eric (who is interested in tool and die repair) to Meredith (who had a hysterectomy) emphasizing the 'repair' aspect as a common ground. Not surprisingly, the introduction is brutally awkward," Anik said. "Matches should be made with the goal of creating meaningful connections."

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Herb Scribner is a writer for Deseret Digital Media.

Website: https://twitter.com/HerbScribner

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