Though Hollywood portrays falling in love as instantaneous, in the real world, it's not usually the case. For the non-rom-com star, there are not-so-great dates to be endured before meeting Mr. Right. Unless you love playing the dating game over and over and over again, you can use a handful of ways to streamline the process to date people you'd honestly want to date.
Walk down memory lane
Not that you need to live in the past, but there are some truths to be found from boyfriends who turned out not to be your one true love. Before you start dating again, think about things you loved about past relationships while also considering things you won't stand for in another boyfriend. Doing just that will help you avoid a second date with someone who might seem perfect but actually just reminds you of the rocker you dated in high school.
If you aren't exactly sure what you are looking for in a man, Mr. Wonderful could waltz right up and you wouldn't take a second glance. Be sure you know who you are before you get mixed up in a relationship. Establish your personality, your goals, your qualities, etc. before jumping into the dating scene.
Listen to the Spice Girls
There's some serious truth to the classic Spice Girls' line, "If you wanna be my lover, you gotta get with my friends." Blind dates aren't all bad if your friends can help do some date screening to find someone you'd be compatible with. (As an important note, "He's single, and you're single" is not enough in common for a set up.) Let your friends know what kind of person you're interested in dating, and ask for their help in finding him.
Match your goals
If you can tell right off the bat your goals don't match up, there is no use going on a second date. Early on in the relationship, see if you both are looking for the same thing in the relationship like marriage sometime in the future, wanting kids, not wanting kids, etc.
Be your best yourself
It's easy to glaze over this tidbit, but you aren't likely to attract anyone if you aren't worth attracting. You are looking for someone who is confident, motivated, happy and so on. Doesn't it make sense that your future partner is looking for the same qualities? Don't forget to spend time focusing on yourself while playing the dating game.
You are likely to find someone who loves music at a concert, so why not hang around certain venues based on who you'd like to "randomly" bump into? Finding someone with mutual interests is easier when you are in a mutual location.
Be the person you'd like to date
You don't want to be someone you are not, but if you are looking for someone who is outgoing, you need more adventure than staying inside on a Friday night. If you want someone outgoing, you are probably going to need to be a little outgoing yourself.
This last point is a pretty self-explanatory but can't be forgotten. Even when you know what you are looking for, it can take some time for you two to find each other. It's much easier said than done, so be patient.
And if you do get fed up with the dating game, take comfort. If you aren't dating anyone, there is no way you can end up on a PDA Instagram account.
Emily is putting her English and Humanities degree to use editing and writing all over the world. Trying to see all 7 world wonders (while visiting as many countries as she can in between), Emily loves wandering alleyways, beautifully photographed food, stumbling upon impromptu flea and food markets. She can usually be found camera in hand, munching on a street food and never has her headphones out of reach.