4 reasons never to say no to your spouse

Sometimes it takes courage to bring up a request to our spouse. If such a request is met only by denial or refusal we risk that our spouse will close themselves off and become less willing to approach their spouse. Saying yes strengthens relationships.

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  • Merriam-Webster dictionary defines the word "no" as an expression of negation, dissent, denial, or refusal. "No" is a negative word that can cause frustration when we run into it too often. Prior to my marriage, I made a commitment to never say "no" to my spouse. I wanted her to feel like she could count on me for anything. We should remember that when our spouse asks us to do something, there is a reason. Sometimes it takes courage to bring up a request to our spouse. If such a request is met only by denial or refusal, we risk that our spouse will close themselves off and become less willing to approach their spouse. Each request is a test to determine if we are worthy of greater amounts of trust.

  • Trust is fragile

  • Making this commitment and putting that amount of trust in someone else’s hands can be very scary, particularly if that person does not have your best interest in mind. For this reason, I only recommend that married couples who want the best for each other try this experiment. Trust is very fragile and can be easily broken if it is not handled with care.

  • Don’t forget

  • I recall only one time that I said "no" to my wife. It was after a long day and my wife requested that I go to Wal-Mart to pick up a few things. Well, Wal-Mart is not my favorite place on earth. This particular day, I was tired and just wanted to stay home and relax. Immediately after my refusal to go, I remembered my commitment from years earlier, apologized for my hesitation, and then completed the task requested of me. Perhaps you can develop a loving reminder system to implement if you feel rejected. It can be something as simple as saying, “My love, I really need you to do this.” That can be your cue to remember your commitment.

  • Return the favor

  • My lovely wife has returned the same courtesy to me over the years, and the result has been a blissful relationship. Being agreeable and willing to do what your spouse asks builds unity, trust and love. The French writer and philosopher François-Marie Arouet, known also as Voltaire, explained “The possession of great power necessarily implies great responsibility.” By giving each other this power, it should be used with discretion, kindness, love and respect. A spouse should never request something out of selfishness.

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  • Make the commitment

  • Spend time with your spouse and discuss making this commitment to each other. Gentlemen, try an experiment. If your wife wants to watch a chick flick with you, go for it. Ladies, if your husband wants to take you on a camping trip, try it. You will find that with each request you will grow closer together as a couple. Building quality memories together makes each new day an adventure. The only stipulation in my commitment is that neither spouse should be asked to do something that is illegal or against the commandments of God.

  • Eliminate the hidden "no." This comes in the form of attitude or unresponsiveness to a request. Serving your spouse with a poor attitude is worse than not doing it. Show your best friend your love by saying "yes." Spend time with and serve each other, and you will strengthen your marriage. Want to be madly in love with your spouse after several years of marriage? Say "yes."

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Dustin A. Wiggins, author of 180 Experiences that will Strengthen your Marriage, is passionate about discovering ways to strengthen the family. He loves to write and explore different parts of the world. You can follow him on twitter @_DustinWiggins or check out his blog Lessons of Wisdom to stay updated with helpful and inspiring ideas.

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