Should you marry your best friend?

It doesn't matter who you marry, just make sure you see them as your best friend, says recent research.
Feb 10, 2016

1,925 views   |   20 shares
  • Just in time for Valentine's Day, there's a new study that confirms who you should marry.

  • The person can be your high school sweetheart, or the person you just met on Tinder. It could also be a friend you met back in preschool but haven't seen for years.

  • Just make sure they're your best friend, too.

  • The study, done by two researchers from the National Bureau of Economic Research, has found that those who are best friends with their spouse are less likely to see a dip in life satisfaction during the so-called mid-life crisis. Marrying your best friend actually strengthens a marriage and can improve life satisfaction, the study said.

  • "There's a lot of stress going on in middle age," Shawn Grover, a researcher for the Department of Finance Canada and co-author of the study, told The Huffington Post. "Having someone to talk that out with and having someone to support you in those difficult times can help explain why it's a bit harder for people without a partner."

  • When accounting for income, education and health, couples who said they married a good friend received double the amount of life satisfaction as those who said they didn't marry their best friend, GMA Network reported.

  • "The important thing is that you're singing Jason Mraz's tune, no matter how cheesy: You're in love with someone who you feel is your best friend," according to GMA.

  • Advertisement
  • But this isn't necessarily the only person people marry. In fact, about 39 percent of Americans said in a Mic survey they met their spouse through a mutual friend, while close to 22 percent said they met their future spouse through social settings, Mic reported.

  • People were most likely to date someone through a mutual friend because they already assumed they would get along with that person, according to Mic.

  • But that same survey found that 40 percent of respondents said they were "platonic friends" with their future married partners first, showing that having that friendship bond may actually be the key in making a marriage last, Mic reported.

  • "Being friends first also means you avoid the most obvious pitfall of online dating: not knowing what you're getting," Mic reported.

  • Marrying your best friend, though, may seem like a cliche, The Guardian's Gabriella Paiella opined back in December 2015. After all, a best friend is a term of endearment mostly reserved for friends you've known for countless years, not necessarily your spouse.

  • But marrying a best friend is actually a result of the shifts in the way Americans view marriage, she wrote. Back in the 1950s, most men and women married because of the "gender divide," meaning that women often married men because they'd be a good provider for them.

  • This changed through the 1960s and 1970s, however, when women started to enter the workforce. Friendship and a strong bond became the desire of every marriage.

  • Still, using the term "best friend" hasn't sat well with everyone when describing their spouse. Jason, a 35-year-old man who spoke with Paiella, said that the term "wife" also means best friend, and that he doesn't need another word to describe how much he really feels about his spouse.

  • Advertisement
  • "When I say my wife is 'my wife,' I'm saying so many things — that I love her, that she is the person I spend more time with than anyone else, that we share a life together," Jason told Paiella. "Why is the word 'wife' not enough for those things? Why does she also have to be 'best friend'? Wife is a very good word! You know what I never had until I married her? A wife! But 'best friend' — boy, I had tons of those."

  • So maybe you shouldn't marry your best friend after all. Maybe, Paiella says, your best friend comes with a tied knot.

Want uplifting and insightful stories in your inbox?

Take a moment to share...

Herb Scribner is a writer for Deseret Digital Media.

Website: https://twitter.com/HerbScribner

If you’re doing these 20 things, you’re a mom and you’re not ashamed of it

If any of these things make you say,'That is so me!' you’re not alone.

Advertisement
Tell us your opinion
 

Thanks for subscribing to our email list. Please enjoy our latest articles.

tumblr