Sometimes, we tend to compare our relationship to other relationships. This is a very bad habit because we are failing to notice the good our partner does for us in his or her own individual way. Life isn't a scene from a movie all of the time, and your significant other isn't perfect. Take time to appreciate the things that they do for you. Maybe your husband isn't buying your love because he's busy working his butt off to support your family. Perhaps your wife isn't cooking you a five-star meal every night because she is beyond stressed out at work. Admire what you fell in love with and forget the fluff. Love is shown in many different ways; seek out how your partner is showing his or hers.
2. Letting Yourself Go
Especially with couples who have been together for many years, sometimes we tend to take our partner for granted because we know that they will always be there and always love us. However, this does not mean that we need to "let ourselves go." Still find time to work out. Still make an effort to wear that outfit your significant other finds you sexy in. Still try to look nice when you go out in public. At one point, you tried so hard to impress one another. Why stop now?
Yes, women, I'm talking to you. Nagging is extremely frustrating and wearing, and is one of the largest complaints against women that men have. Instead of whining, try to calmly and clearly communicate your needs. Complaining all of the time won't solve your problem, and it certainly will not motivate your significant other to change. Instead, it will drive him or her away and create a barrier between the two of you. You may think that nagging helps when it reality, it is just worsening the situation. Sit down and have a conversation with your partner about what you would like the two of you to work on together.
4. Failing to Listen
Relationships are built on a foundation of trust and intimacy. How would you feel if you talked to your partner about a concern of yours and it went in one ear and out the other? We all want to feel valued and understood. When you fail to listen properly to your significant other, you are creating a void between the two of you. When you are multitasking or pretending to listen, you are sending a clear message: That what your partner has to say either does not interest you, or that you do not care. That's hurtful. Listen to what your partner says and appreciate that they are coming to you to talk.
Honestly, no one likes a Debbie-downer. Positivity is a breath of fresh air, and too much negativity is draining. Being around a constant complainer is extremely taxing. Everyone needs to vent from time to time, but if you are spending most of your time complaining around your partner, it's time to give it a rest. Positive thoughts are contagious. Encourage each other to live well.
A healthy relationship is a team comprised of two people depending on one another. When you and your partner decide something together and one person falls though on their commitment, it's frustrating. If you said you were going to do something, do it. Don't make promises that you can't keep. Be someone that your partner can count on and follow up on your commitments.
7. Bad-Mouthing Each Other in Public
Treat each other with respect. How would you feel if your husband was complaining to his buddies that you were being a pain last night? You would likely feel pretty hurt, embarrassed, and disrespected. Honor your significant other and show off your love to others rather than bashing it.
8. Being insecure
We all have insecurities, but if you are constantly dwelling on yours, you are putting too much focus on yourself and not the relationship. Work on these internally and do not weigh your significant other down. Do not let your insecurities run your relationship.
Editor's note: This article was originally published on Inspiration Indulgence. It has been modified and republished here with permission.
Chelsea is a Wisconsin-based lifestyle blogger at Inspiration Indulgence where she inspires others to live happy, fulfilled lives. She is currently working towards her Master's degree at the University of Wisconsin-Oshkosh in Professional Counseling. When she isn't writing, she and her fiancé love traveling together and sharing their adventures with others.