I know you. You are one of many husbands or wives who really doesn't care a bit about Valentine's Day. You think it is a commercialized holiday, a waste of money and a fake excuse to express love. So, year after year you ignore it. You joke about it. And you don't do anything special or out of the ordinary on the 14th of February.
I'm pleading with you to not ignore this important holiday! Why? Ignoring Valentine's Day is dangerous. When you choose to ignore this date, you are choosing, in a small way, to ignore your spouse and your relationship. Now, I'm a flexible kind of person, and I'm really not bashing you if Valentine's Day isn't your thing, but I'm just here to encourage you to go along with the holiday to see if it doesn't nurture your marriage this year.
So, with that introduction here are 3 reasons married couples should not ignore Valentine's Day this year (or ever, for that matter!).
1. Valentine's Day can rekindle the romance in your marriage
And being romantic is soooo good for your marriage.
Am I right, or am I right?
Here is a day, literally thrown in your face, for you to be super romantic. You've got it in you. Just think back to when you were dating. You are a romantic being, and you just need to freshen up your skills a bit.
Here is your chance. When else do you actually go all out in being romantic and thoughtful planning a day or a special evening for your spouse? Perhaps on your anniversary ... maybe ... but that's about it. So why not add Valentine's Day to your list of romantic days to celebrate, and just make it happen? One suggestion we love is to take turns planning either Valentine's Day or your anniversary with your spouse every year. If you plan a spectacular Valentine's Day, then your spouse will plan a wonderful anniversary. And next year you will switch. Give it a go, and see if it works for you.
However you groove, plan something special, and make sure to let this day turn into a romantic evening together. Let me be clear: do not miss the opportunity to kiss, hug and be intimate together on Valentine's Day, people! That would be tragic.
2. Being intentional about celebrating Valentine's Day can nurture your marriage
Being intentional about your relationship can make it or break it. Couples who aren't intentional about their marriages often start to drift apart without even realizing it. So, decide to be intentional about Valentine's Day, and take advantage of the opportunity it gives you to nurture your marriage.
Now, being intentional doesn't mean you have to celebrate Valentine's Day the way jewelry companies or Hallmark suggest. You can create your own traditions.
Maybe you decide to make heart-shaped bacon or heart-shaped cinnamon rolls for a romantic breakfast in bed, or perhaps you and your spouse choose to shop together for one new thing for the both of you. Perhaps you make it a tradition to always buy each other a book, or a shirt or your favorite treat on Valentine's Day—just keep it the same each year so the power of the ritual can benefit your marriage.
Maybe your tradition is to always go skiing together on Valentine's Day or to eat Valentines Day candy while you watch your favorite chick flick. Or perhaps you are more ambitious, and you decide to always (from here on out) schedule a getaway together over Valentine's Day weekend.
Whatever you do, just choose to make this day a big deal. And, you don't have to spend a lot of money to make Valentine's Day special.
Being intentional about a day of love (even if you don't like the idea of it) will help you learn to be intentional about your marriage every other day of the year, too.
3. Valentine's Day gives you a chance to express love in a special way
Literally, you are being given a chance to express love on THE love day of the year. To simply choose not to express love on this day would be ridiculous. Just like Thanksgiving and Christmas, Valentine's Day is set apart for a certain purpose. It's a day to express, show and tell your spouse (or significant other) how much you love him or her.
I would suggest finding a way to show love in the way your spouse best receives love. Search Pinterest for some awesome ideas for expressing love in the each of the 5 love languages. (P.S. If your husband or wife is more of a receiving gifts type of person than he/she lets on to be, and you forget to get a gift on Valentine's Day, you could really hurt feelings, even if it's not admitted. And that could hurt your marriage over the long-term.)
I guess what I'm getting at here is this: Valentine's Day should be a big deal for you and your spouse! Don't let Valentine's Day pass you by this year. Choose to plan ahead, be intentional and celebrate your marriage in a meaningful way. Then, watch the spark's fly.
Aaron & April are the founders of Nurturing Marriage, a website dedicated to strengthening marriages. They enjoy playing football with their two little boys, watching sports, eating cereal late at night, and going out for frozen yogurt.