Love is a fascinating subject. For many, it is hard to describe; it is something you know when you feel it. There are obviously many different forms of love—from the love you have for your closest friends to the love you feel for your mom and dad.
The love I want to talk about is the kind you feel toward that person you want to spend the rest of your life with, the person otherwise known as your soul mate. This kind of love is always described in a totally different way than the other kinds of love, especially because it is usually described with an action: falling in love.
Some may say this is what happened—they found a certain person, who just happened to be the one who made them fall. But to me, describing it that way is totally misleading because it makes love sound clumsy, like, "Whoops, I just happened to fall in love."
I think love takes way more effort: you don't fall in love you CHOOSE it.
So how do you choose love?
The choice is yours
Love is not something that should be pressured onto anyone, let alone on yourself.
How unfair would it be if the parson you will be in love with the rest of your life is basically chosen for you? What happens if you don't ever find this person, this "chosen one"?
But guess what? The choice is actually yours. You can choose to fall in love and whom you fall in love with. It is not some fateful encounter you have no hand in. We have this thing called freedom of choice, which means we have the freedom to have these types of emotions for anyone we want.
Love is active, not passive
"We come to love not by finding a perfect person but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly." —Sam Keen
I repeat: love is a choice. It's not something that just happens or merely a feeling or emotion. This means to have it, you gotta work at it. When you really find someone who is compatible with you, who you can see yourself having a lasting future with, you will feel love. However, even people who are completely head over heels for each other have things they will need to work at. Active love is having the ability and the patience to work through problems you will inevitably face and still choosing to love the other person in the end.
If falling in love is so easy, then the opposite must be true as well. Sadly, most people believe this. "Oh, it just didn't work out. We just fell out of love," is the excuse used to explain the ending of a relationship. Many celebrities, even those with long-term marriages, will cite this as the reason behind divorce. Yet again, this is a complete fallacy. Why would you work so hard to find a relationship only to let it fall apart because of some idea society and popular culture has created?
If you choose love, then you can choose to not fall out of love. The choice is always yours. Choose to consistently love your other half.
We are all intelligent beings with the opportunity to learn and grow every day. We choose our own destinies, and we can always choose to love.