As I sit here typing in my bed, I feel quite angry and upset. It's 10 a.m., and I should get up and get ready for the day. But I don't want to. I don't want to face the relentless challenges of life. I don't want to keep working and hoping, only to be crushed, again. I am frustrated and discouraged and mad.
I'm angry my prayers are still unanswered, and I feel like God has abandoned me. I've tried so hard to be good, to have faith and to trust in God. But where is He right now? Why don't I feel relief or hope?
It's been months and months of prayer, faith and work. I don't want to be mad at God, but I can't help it. What do I do?
1. Trust in Him more
Everything in me wants to run away and give up on God, but I know this is when I need to trust in Him even more. Past experience has taught me He really will come through for me. He won't leave me alone or abandon me. The fact that I'm sitting here in this bed is evidence God has helped me through past trials. My faith in Him is secure. I simply have to keep trusting in God, no matter how tempted I am to give up and back away.
2. Get perspective
Only God sees the big picture. I see what's behind me and what's directly in front of me. And because I don't like what's directly in front of me, I'm angry.
But God knows everything. He knows how my life will go and when things will change. He knows what will happen tomorrow, next week and next year. My vision is so limited, but when I step back and remember who God is, I gain greater perspective.
"Be still, and know that I am God." —Psalms 46:10
I am me, and God is God. He knows everything and is perfectly kind, loving and merciful. So, yeah, I guess I should keep my life in His hands.
3. Remember God can't control others
The one thing God can't control is us humans. He can't make someone do something. He can inspire and direct, but people ultimately have the choice. God gave humans their individual freedom.
This is incredibly painful at times. People will continue to offend and hurt me. People will always let me down. But I can't blame God for that.
Freedom to choose is the reality of life. We all have choices to make, and the only thing I can control is me.
Alyssa graduated with a degree in Middle East Studies & Arabic and continually adds to her list of random life experiences as she faces one adventure after another. With too many hobbies to count she especially loves hip-hop, soccer, and photography.