We went to college together, went to high school together. The characters we played in a school musical were even engaged;fate had it in for us. Being in the right place at the right time may have been important, but she still would have been the right one if she was from Bangladesh. She had three golden qualities mixed in with her quirks and imperfections that have become essential to our life together.
Guys, look for these characteristics and encourage them in your wives, girlfriends, sisters (your mother already has them all). The girl in possession of these is a great treasure.
1. She is willing to work
If you have yet to step into the marriage arena, a word to the wise: its hard work! You have to pay bills, some of us have to go to school, manage a home, clean the yard, cook food, and all the endless laundry lists of to-dos in life (not to mention the actual laundry). If you have to shoulder the burden alone as a husband, struggle will be constant. Having a woman willing and able to work at your side cannot be over appreciated.
2. She is excited to have children
Note: I did not say she was excited to have sex. Sex is incidental to this quality. There is no equal or proper substitute in a child's life than the influence and support of a mother. If you intend to bring children into the world, and I sincerely hope you do, your wife must understand and relish her unique gifts as a mom.
Of course you can't be lax in your part as dad, but moms can connect with their children in a way I envy. I am thankful every day I watch my wife with our son; she has given him her whole soul, and looks forward to the day she has more than one to care for.
3. She is your home
Before I dated my wife there was a tremendous amount of stress on me to find the "right one." Striving for the intangible ideal encouraged me to make myself an intangible ideal. I made a mask of pretended behavior to hide behind; too afraid to allow anyone to see what I thought was undesirable. After trying that for some time, I realized that I didn't want to do that for the rest of my life, married to someone who never made me feel comfortable in my own skin. The woman I was going to marry would never give me a reason to hide behind my mask.
Very soon after we began dating, my wife made me feel more at home than I ever did with any other girl. Despite my fears, I eventually decided that life could never be as good without her as it was with her. We married three months after our first date.
Guys, husbands, boyfriends- a lot of qualities aren't on this list: airbrushed supermodel, five star cook, accomplished businesswoman. They just aren't very important. Look for the above three qualities first- everything else that matters in marriage will come in time; everything that doesn't matter, doesn't matter.