Sharing your desire to settle down and raise a family is usually a joyous experience. But sometimes the reaction can be less than supportive. There are many factors that influence getting an "Aww!"or "Ohh!" when you spill the beans about potentially having a bun in the oven.
Here are four real reasons there might be some hesitation in coming clean about wanting kids:
Letting it slip that you really want kids before you can even rent a car can sometimes sound like you're floating in a fantasy land. Young motherhood is slowly sliding into mid-life and higher, and reality checks like MTV's Teen Momcertainly isn't glamorizing the life changing decision.
Motherhood is a struggle when you're young. And the reality is if you don't have a solid foundation, but are already thinking of starting a family, you may appear to be searching for comfort and purpose. Channel that passion and desire into a fulfilled and secure single life, then adding kids will seem like icing on the cake.
Whether it's partner problems, or problems with your parts, getting the itch to have kids after 35 can be complicated. Fertility issues are very personal and can rack up a mighty bill without ever getting the prize.
Relationship troubles can rock the solid foundation that every child needs and deserves in those rearing years. Dating at this age can leave the sound of your biological clock ringing in everyone's ears; and that's a scary sound for someone who's just getting to know you. There are options for preserving and promoting your chances of conceiving after this age, just know the risks get even higher with the joyous rewards.
Fear of Missing Outis an unfortunately real reason to decide to step into the biggest responsibility of your life. It's hard not to be influenced by those around you. And when all of your friends are jumping the broom and rocking the cradle you may think your life is at a standstill while everyone else's is flying by.
Once you're surrounded by something you never thought you wanted, settling down and spreading out may seem like the "in" thing to do. Maybe it is time for you to consider something new, but make sure it's right for you too.
Unlike Fear of Missing Out, fear of being left out can also be an embarrassing reason to suddenly decide to want children. When all of your friends have moved on to weddings, baby showers and play dates, having a little one of your own may be the only way to keep friendships that have lasted for years but are now wasting away. Motherhood is a full-time job, and sometimes the only time your besties have are for other mothers. So, in your mind, bringing a little bundle to playtime will keep the bonds strong and the village growing. Making new friends after so long can be a daunting challenge, but the lifestyle you want to lead will leave you with some tough choices.
Digging deep and finding the real reasons you want children can reveal a lot about your strengths and struggles. Going with the flow of those around you is never a good reason to bring an innocent and vulnerable life into the world. But choosing the status quo over moving forward may also be an irreversible decision.
Whatever the reasons, stepping into motherhood is a rewarding challenge full of mystery, discovery, and love. Share it with those you love, and love the reason you're sharing it.