While I was still single, I remember having a discussion with my friend who had recently gotten married.
I had not seen this friend since her wedding, so I asked her about her married life; what she liked, what was new, any advice she had. We laughed over the usual living-with-a-man situations, and she gushed about how much she loved her husband.
Then she gave me some advice that I found very interesting. She said that it is important to remember that you can still get insecure in marriage, and an important principle is to not allow those insecurities to hurt your marriage.
Now that I am married, I know exactly what she was talking about.
When you get married there isn't some magic button that erases insecurities you might have faced most of your life. Some might go away for a while, but you will find that over time something will happen to make them bubble up again and when you least expect it.
Here are 5 ways to feel more confident in your marriage, allowing those pesky insecurities to disappear:
1. Be in the now
Everyday take some time to sit and meditate about you and your relationship. Think about how you want your marriage to be and create positive thoughts about how you can become the things that you want. Reflect on ways to improve as a wife or husband.
2. Be realistic and optimistic
Remember all the great things about your marriage. Remind yourself of all the positive things that you and your husband are doing, and some things that you could change. Be grateful for the wonderful man in your life and all the blessings that come with marriage. Be optimistic about the possibilities of showing more love and receiving it as well.
3. Be forgiving
This is an important one, because many times insecurities that pop up in marriage are from a conflict or something that your husband might have said. Remember, nobody is perfect- including you. Forgive and forget. If you find yourself dwelling on something, discuss it openly and honestly with your husband. Don't let anger, a grudge, or insecurities ruin the most important relationship you have.
4. Be confident
Have confidence in yourself and in your husband. Know that you are worthy of love and affection, and that your husband is too. Be confident in the relationship you have with each other. Know that your husband has your best interest in mind, and that you have the same for him.
Show your husband some love! Nothing dispels insecurities more than being in the arms of the man you love, and hearing his kind and reassuring words. Love him every day and find ways to show it. Don't ever forget that love is the answer, and if it is a key component of your marriage, everything will turn out ok.