Reese's Peanut Butter Cups illustrate exactly the reason it's OK — even desirable — to have differences in your marriage. Too many times women spend effort trying to change their husbands to be something contrary to their nature.
Yes, everyone should be consistently working to improve their relationship; but some of the annoying things your husband does really are helping your marriage. You just have to be willing to see the positive. In his recent encyclical, Pope Francis taught that our differences are on purpose. "Harmony. All complementarities were made by our Creator," he said.
From changing brake pads on your car to finishing the basement, men tend to think, "I got this," even when they have very little knowledge and no experience in that area. How hard can it be to run a chainsaw, right? This can, unfortunately, backfire. But, that can-do attitude should be applauded. When he is confident in his ability to make things work, he's more likely to put effort into other areas of his life — like his marriage.
He tries to fix your problems as well
For the most part, a woman wants to talk about her problems with someone who will listen and say, "You're doing your best." She does not want to hear, "You need to ... " A man, on the other hand, will tackle a problem with your boss the same way he would a loose board — with a hammer. His mantra usually is, "see a problem, fix a problem." When your husband gives you a solution to a problem you weren't seeking help with, know in your heart he's saying, "I love you and I want to help," — it's just that it's in code.
Sex: the answer to every problem
Another not-so-secret code is that typically men like sex and figure that particular rush of endorphins is a cure for just about any ill. Whether you're tired, hungry, nervous or your back hurts, he likely has one particular solution in mind. And truthfully, often there is a satisfying closeness with your husband and the world at large after physical intimacy, even if you weren't particularly in the mood. When he says, "Let's go to bed," he may well have your best interest at heart.
If you get sick, the world keeps turning. If your husband gets sick, it's a little off-kilter. For some completely nonscientific reason, men who can bench press twice their body weight are knocked completely cold by a case of the sniffles. The truth is, men are totally capable of caring for themselves, but if you make him a bowl of chicken soup, that tells him you really care. It's the one time in his life he will show his vulnerability. Be kind during those sweet moments.
He keeps coming up with last-minute invites
"We should do that sometime" doesn't work for a woman. "Let's go to the 7 o'clock showing tomorrow" is a much better plan. But trying to nail your husband down sometimes can be like herding cats. It's not that he doesn't want to spend time with you; it's the commitment thing. Men like their freedom. It might drive you crazy, but try to be flexible. And if he ever invites you to go for a ride, say yes, if you possibly can — even if it's to the hardware store. Those spontaneous moments matter in a relationship.
You likely were attracted to your spouse because of the way he completes you. At a Humanum worldwide conference on marriage in 2014, religious leader Henry B. Eyring said, "Our differences combined as if they were designed to create a better whole." What he really is saying is, even though men and women are different, they're "two great things that go great together." Take the time to savor each other.