5 reasons why you can’t find Mr. Right

Are you wondering why you can't find Mr. Right? Here are a few things to consider.

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  • Sometimes it seems that no matter what you do, where you go or who you make friends with, you just can't find "the one." You start to wonder if there really is someone out there for you. You may be a confident person who does not feel that you have to be in a relationship to be complete, but you wouldn't mind having someone to cuddle up to at night or share your life with. So why can't you find Mr. Right? Here are some possibilities.

  • 1. Your expectations are too high

  • You may go on a lot of dates, but you just can't find someone who checks all your boxes. It may be time to re-evaluate your list. Do you have too many requirements? Are you not willing to bend on any of them? While there are some things you know you won't budge on, like not dating someone who smokes or hates dogs, there may be other items that make your complete list a bit ridiculous. Be open to dating someone that wants four kids instead of your two-kid maximum; or a pisces or libra instead of just cancers. Who knows — your perfect match may be sitting right next to you; but you won't give him the time of day because he has red hair and you only date brunettes.

  • 2. You don't put yourself out there

  • One thing that can be hard for people is to put themselves out there. Trying new things and meeting new people can be scary and awkward. It is easy to get in a habit of only socializing with the same people and going to the same places. It may be time to break from your comfort zone and do something that may be different than your daily routine. It can be something as simple as going to a different grocery store, or it can be something more focused, like going to a singles event or trying online dating.

  • 3. You're afraid of commitment

  • Perhaps you are pushing people away because you are afraid of commitment. As soon as you start to go on a couple of dates you may find something that you don't like about the person, or you start to feel trapped in a relationship you're not sure you want to be in; so you end things before they even start. Try taking things slowly. Just because you find someone attractive does not mean you are going to marry him. Get to know someone over a long period of time and see how things go. Take it one date at a time.

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  • 4. You are hanging out with the wrong people

  • You tend to date who you hang out with. If you only socialize with married friends or people that you know you have no future with, it may be time to get some new friends. That doesn't mean you have to de-friend your current posse; but try to branch out every once in a while. Go to lunch with someone from work you don't usually hang out with, or join a book club. You may meet someone who knows the perfect person for you or invites you to a party where you meet your future husband.

  • 5. You're not ready

  • You may not be finding Mr. Right simply because you are not ready. We have to be comfortable with ourselves before we can be comfortable with someone else. Are you still working on yourself? Are you able to love yourself? If not, then that may be the problem. Spend time learning to like who you are and becoming the best person you can be. Once you have mastered that, you will be more open to loving someone else.

  • There is never a clear reason why you are not finding the right person for you. It could be a variety of problems or simply because you have not found the person you click with. Don't let it discourage you. Don't let it stop you from living life. Try making some of the changes above and see how it goes; but keep in mind there is no time limit on finding Mr. Right.

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Megan Shauri graduated with a bachelors in anthropology and a masters in psychology. She is a mother of twins.

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