Last week my mom died. God placed her spirit gently in the palms of His hands and carried her home. I am grateful for a faith that sustains me. And for family and friends who support me. None of that changes the fact that I miss my mom. Our relationship wasn't perfect. But then, whose is? Sometimes we disappointed each other. Other times, we did each other proud. Always we looked for ways to enjoy the mother/daughter bond that was uniquely ours.
There is no right or wrong way for me to mourn my mom's passing or to honor the life she lived. There is a time to laugh and a time to weep. There is a time to mourn. This is my time to mourn.
Some days I cry because my mom is no longer there to comfort me, in only the way that my mom knows how. There are days when I look for her in places I once saw her, only to remember that she's no longer there.
A time to be angry
There are moments when I find myself angry, short tempered or even distracted because my mom is dead. Sometimes I don't even know why I'm angry. I just am. And so I accept my anger and try very hard not to take it out on my own daughter. And when I do, I apologize. And she gets it.
A time to laugh and remember what we shared
Some days when I think of my mom, I laugh. My mom loved to laugh, and she made others around her laugh. Thank you, Mom, for the gift of laughter. It truly is the best medicine.
My mom loved to travel and explore the world. I have the same desire to travel and explore new vistas that my mom had. To paraphrase the poet, Edna St Vincent Millay: "Our hearts are warm with the friends we make. And better friends we'll not be knowing. But there isn't a train we wouldn't take, no matter where it's going." —Except in our case, it was usually a cruise.
A time to find acceptance
"Lead me, guide me, walk beside me, help me find the way." One day I will come to accept the loss of my mom. While I will never forget her, the fresh pain of the loss of her physical presence will dull with time. And I will take comfort in my belief that I will see her again.
Six things to keep in mind when mourning the death of someone we love