4 reasons why you should play favorites with your kids

Actually, playing favorites might be the best thing you've ever done for your babies.

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  • If you have more than one child then you already know that you are capable of loving more than one person with all your soul. You definitely love all of your children, but... you love them differently. Each one touches your heart strings in different ways.

  • We hear we shouldn't play favorites with our children, but here are some reasons why playing favorites may be the best thing you can do for your children.

  • 1. Each has unique qualities

  • Every child is unique. Their qualities need to be nurtured and developed. If you try to treat all your children the same you miss out on developing some of those talents. If you force your children to all participate in one or two activities, you may be overlooking something another one is good at. Observe and treasure each child's differences rather than only finding things they can all do together.

  • 2. Every child needs to feel important

  • Your kids need one-on-one time with you. They need to spend time with you away from their siblings and friends. By getting to know them individually, you remind your baby how much he or she is loved. It's okay to spoil them a little without giving something to each child. Make them the center of attention for a moment. If you do the same with each child at different times then the children who are not taken out independently will know their turn will come soon enough and they can be happy for the time their brother or sister got to spend with you rather than jealous.

  • 3. Children express and receive love differently

  • Some express their love with hugs and kisses while others do acts of service. Learn each child's love language so you can express it in a way they understand. Loving each child in the same way might make you may lose connection with your children. If one child needs extra attention, give it to them. There will be a day when they no longer come to you for comfort, take advantage of the times they do come to you and encourage them to continue to do so.

  • 4. Children need to learn to be happy for others

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  • Let's face it, sometimes one child does better at something than their brother or sister. Praise them for it. Let them know it is okay to do good things - it encourages them to keep doing it. Your other children will learn to be happy when someone does great. Teach them that just because someone succeeds, it doesn't mean the other is not good enough; their time will come as well, and at that time their sibling will be happy for them.

  • The key to playing favorites with your kids is to make sure that each gets a chance to be the favorite. Love children differently, but don't withhold love from one child and only give to another. Children are individuals with individual needs, take time to explore what they need and how they will best blossom within your family unit.

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Megan Shauri graduated with a bachelors in anthropology and a masters in psychology. She is a mother of twins.

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