As my grandmother would say, I have a tendency to "borrow troubles from tomorrow." It's taxing to be stressed about things that are out of my control. Years ago, I heard a piece of advice that's been helpful when I find myself agonizing over a decision: Will my choice really matter in 10 minutes? 10 days? 10 years? If you really answer honestly, I promise instant perspective (and less worrying).
Using energy to fuss and fidget about things in these 7 categories is exhausting. Cut out the things that won't matter down the road.
The invitation (not) in your mailbox
Not getting invited to something you should be invited to is hurtful. I don't want to downplay that. You've been friends for years, you are going to be related through marriage, and you even promised to be each other's godparents, but you didn't get an invite to the reception. That stings, but will it really matter in 10 years? If you let it become grudge that festers in your heart, it will (see below). But if you can move past your hurt and understand why you didn't get the invitation, you don't have to lose out on that friendship.
I hope this point doesn't come as a shocker. Holding grudges is so middle school. What good does it do, holding such strong feelings against a person? You might not want them in your life (by all means, don't allow toxic people), but it doesn't mean you have to waste so much energy hating them. The grudge against your former boyfriend isn't going to matter in 10 years, so why are you holding onto it now?
Your kid's friend's mom
The opinion of others doesn't really matter. Truly. What the parent of the little girl your child plays with thinks about your house is not relevant now, later, or 1,000 years into the future. Be yourself, don't be fake, and find those in life who appreciate you. Take advice with a grain of salt, and don't let the thoughts of others override what you feel in your gut. What really matters later on is if you are happy with your choice, not that you changed to please someone else.
It sounds cliché, but living life with no regrets is a powerful statement. Waiting for the perfect moment, the ideal crowd, and promising yourself you'll try it next year is only giving you more worries. You are giving yourself the power to hold yourself back. Don't worry you might look silly, don't worry it'll mess everything up, don't worry you might not like it. In 10 years, you'll regret you never took the chance, despite your fears.
Today's social media world makes it hard to define self-confidence. Is your personal identity based on how you feel about yourself? Or is it caught up with how many likes you got on that last post? Honestly, in 10 years (if Instagram even exists in 10 years) the number of likes you got on a post is not going to keep you up at night. Yes, it makes you feel popular to have dozens of comments and hundreds of likes, but there are more substantial things to be concerned about.
Mary, Mary, quite contrary
Where has complaining gotten you in life? Of course, noticing a problem and doing something about it is entirely different, but just plain old complaining? The decision to complain isn't doing you any favors in 10 minutes or 10 months, let alone 10 years.
Right now, it doesn't seem worth it to splurge a little bit on a purchase. A slightly older car? A smaller bigger house? A dress you like, but don't love? These are financial shortcuts we take to save some money right now. But in 10 years, you will be grateful you have fewer car problems, there's room for twins in the guest bedroom and looking back at your wedding photos doesn't remind you of how you cut corners. Don't get anything you can't afford, but buying something a bit nicer isn't going to matter in 10 years.
There are plenty of things that are going to affect you in 10 years. Worrying about these seven things don't need to a part of what you fret about.
Emily is putting her English and Humanities degree to use editing and writing all over the world. Trying to see all 7 world wonders (while visiting as many countries as she can in between), Emily loves wandering alleyways, beautifully photographed food, stumbling upon impromptu flea and food markets. She can usually be found camera in hand, munching on a street food and never has her headphones out of reach.