As human beings, we each possess different qualities and traits. Some we were born with. Others have been learned along the way. As we grow and progress, we make adjustments to these qualities to better refine them. However, some seem to be more difficult to improve than others. One of these is likability. People think that just because they are not a naturally likable person, they can never be. What most people do not realize is that this trait is easier to polish up than you ever thought.
Here are 10 ridiculously simple steps to becoming more likable:
1. Don't hold back a smile
This has to be the oldest trick in the book. You will be surprised at what a little smile can do. When you smile, you automatically look more approachable and friendly. People are naturally drawn to you. You light up the room. And just like that, you are on your way to becoming more likable. Isn't that easy?
2. Bring out your classy
Like it or not, presentation is everything. If you are looking to become more likable, try cleaning yourself up a bit. Good manners, grooming and language go a long way when it comes to impressions. Of course, these things alone will not guarantee an increase in your likability. Ultimately, who you are on the inside will either dim or enhance your surface appearance.
3. Be humbly confident
Confident doesn't mean stuck up, and humble doesn't mean insecure. There is a middle ground between narcissistic and timid. This is where the likable people live.
4. Open up your body language
Folded arms, crossed legs and averted eyes are great ways to make people feel unimportant. It gives off the feeling that you are closed off and uninterested in anything to do with them. Obviously, this is not the vibe we are looking for. Instead, try to open up your body language. For example, stay away from anything that makes you look stiff and formal. Relax a little. It will make the people around you feel comfortable in your presence. Avoid crossing your arms and keep good eye contact as you converse with others. Interestingly, it has been found that mirroring the stance, weight distribution and facial expressions of the person you are talking to causes a subconscious bond to form. Try it out!
If you want to be a charmer, go for the elaborate flattery. If you want to become more likable, keep the compliments sincere. Genuine compliments make others you come into contact with feel noticed, appreciated and admired. Remember that compliments do not just have to be geared towards physical appearance. If you want to make them feel really sincere, go deeper and praise someone for his or her strengths and admirable qualities. As you boost people's confidence, you will also boost their opinion of you.
6. Ask loads of questions
Turns out the majority of people really like to talk about themselves, and they like the people who ask them to. When engaging in a conversation, try to keep it focused on the person you are talking to. Ask them questions about their life, opinions, relationships, memories, etc. Just keep them talking.
7. Show gratitude
A little gratitude goes a long way. People like it when you show gratitude for the things they have done. It enhances their respect for you and makes you more likable in their eyes. Notice the small acts of kindness people do for you each day and tell them "Thank you." Everyone appreciates being appreciated.
8. Be an active listener
We have moved past the days of kindergarten, where listening meant being quiet until you got to hold the "talking stick." Yes, believe it or not, simply being silent while waiting for your turn to speak isn't going to cut it anymore. If you want to be more likable, you need to practice being an active listener. Really pay attention to what the person you are talking to is saying. Nod your head, ask follow-up questions, react with emotion, etc. These little actions show the other person that you are interested and engaged. And guess what? People like that.
9. Use names
This one might seem a little too simple, but using someone's name as you talk makes him or her feel a closer connection to you. This is a subtle way of showing someone that you care. It will add a personal touch and increase your likability.
No one likes to be around pessimists. They are emotionally draining and suck the happy out of everything. Being around optimists, however, has the opposite effect. People are drawn to their sunny outlooks and positive energy. Why? Because it is refreshing. There is enough negativity in this world. Anyone can come up with something to complain about. That is why we tend to like the people that find the good.
By using these simple steps, you will find yourself becoming more and more likable. Not only to others; to yourself as well. So, give it a try! And become the ridiculously likable person you were made to be.