If there is one thing you don't want to have happen in a marriage is to lose interest in the marriage and have it come spiraling to a crashing close. With so many variables clashing and clanking about in the world today, it might be easy to lose our way. Thankfully, many attitudes exist that definitely show you are still happy in your marriage.
An attitude of gratitude for everything he or she has done is incredible. Sometimes a mere thank you or a quick hug after one of you does something nice can reap great benefits. Often, we overlook or take for granted things that our spouses do for us. Think about what would happen if the clothes or the dishes didn't get washed? Or the house cleaned? Or the car maintained or washed? Trouble won't be as prevalent in a marriage if you express gratitude.
Rubbing each other's pains as we get older —
Perhaps, early in the marriage, lots of massages were part of the package. Get really good at it because the massaging actually turns into rubbing the sore spots even more as you grow older. And that's where you really connect.
Holding hands after 36 years of marriage —
Holding hands can be so sensuous and delightful! It definitely shows that you feel attached and want to touch your spouse. Plus, it shows others you are still connected and want to be, no matter where you are or what you are doing.
Remembering each other —
Each and every day needs to be a day of remembrance—a special kiss, a note to each other, a cute phone message, an invitation for the weekly date, a chocolate on the pillow, a nible on the ear, anything that shows your spouse you are still the one. Maintaining the remembering will be beneficial later on.
Spending time together —
In our society, it seems that each spouse has begun to do his or her thing, go out with his or her friends, and not spend much time together. Developing this particular attitude of spending time together throughout your marriage will reap eternal blessings. When the children are all grown up, when the job has dwindled into retirement, and the friends have either died off or gone their own way, the only ones left are you and your spouse. If you have spent enjoyable time together, then it won't be a hardship. It will be the best time you two have ever had together.
If children have graced your world, you should watch them grow up together. Often, it is the wife who spends the most time with the children. Both parents, especially fathers, need to spend as much time as they can in watching their children grow up and being a part of their lives. One day they are born, another day they are in first grade, the next day they are in high school, another passes and they are in college, and then poof! They are married and out of the house.
Sharing stories of the past but still being excited about our future —
It is fun to linger in the past and sharing those incredible stories. But still being excited about a future together is intoxicating. While a strategic planning formula of the past + the future = the present may seem a bit lame, it works. There has to be some of the past linked with the future to really have an intriguing and delightful present.
Take many, many photos together —
In today's society of selfies, it is wonderful that we can take pictures of us together. Couples that take pictures together are saying they enjoy being together. Every place is beautiful where you take a picture of just the two of you.
Having real and fresh conversations —
Real conversations mean talking about things that are happening every day. Fresh conversations are those that are new, not rehashed conversations from the past. Granted, sometimes we must review conversations about the past in order to settle things. Simultaneously, fresh conversations about what is happening in the world create a freshness in a marriage and encourages laughter and having fun together. In fact, you start having more to laugh about when things like hearing get weaker because some of the things you thought the other person said are hysterical!
This is a big one. Some of you may have not experienced this yet, but as you grow older, your body changes. Seriously! The facts are simple: Wrinkles somehow begin to appear. Places that used to be skinny and tight are no longer. Your hair thins and turns gray. Sometimes, you look in the mirror wonder "what has happened to me?" But compliments should never end. The nibbling on the ears and the quick wink need to continue. You should try to look as adorable as you always look. Continue the passion you have experienced.
We can develop positive attitudes about pretty much anything. Of course, developing attitudes that show you are happy in your marriage will eventually lead you to develop healthy attitudes about many, many areas.
Darrel Hammon likes being outdoors, growing things and seeing things the way they could be. You can read more of his musings at darrelhammon.blogspot.com. He and his wife worked as welfare volunteers in the Caribbean.