You’re writing your love story in texts, and it probably goes a little like this…

We won't admit it publicly, but we're all guilty of sending these gems to our sweethearts.

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  • Have you ever wondered what would happen if a future generation were to dust off your old cell phone and read your texts? Based on the messages you sent your sweetheart in those quiet moments through starlit space, what would your grandchildren think of your love story?

  • Texting is the new "scented letter in a nice linen envelope" — an electronic heart drawn in the sands of time. What we message each other will, one day, define us.

  • Let's start with a look at the days of budding romance:

  • The "We're going out!" teen texts

    • I love you like I have never loved any girl before!!! Do you have your math homework done?

    • What do you mean you have to do dishes before you can come over? Just do the dishes!

    • I would just move out, but who would pay for my phone and gas? Bring me over a Diet Coke and nachos. #nopeppersplease THX!

  • Catch a faint whiff of Keats or Dickenson? No? That's cause it ain't there. Teens are all about themselves and the newness of being in love. The universe will excuse their lack of poetry.

  • Freshly married couples, as one would expect, exhibit more romance:

  • The newlywed texts

    • Kissy lips emoji, wink face, purple/red/yellow hearts, smiley cat

    • Of course I wouldn't marry anyone else if you died. I could never love another woman! Remind me, do you have Britney's number...? ;)

    • I'm an awesome husband. I used the last of the duct tape to hem my pants so you could sleep.

  • Notice the humor underlying that sweet romance? Well, forget about all that. Romance and humor are the first things to go when children come along. Texting from parents of youngsters is a romantic expression of a different sort — one of adventure, excitement and mystery.

  • Texts from new parents

    • What is that hanging on the shower curtain, Honey, and can you please remove it before the house appraiser gets here?!

    • I'm sending you a picture of our firstborn in the rabbit's cage. ADORABLE, but don't send it to your mother or she will post it on Facebook.

    • I love you, but who told you that you could give her dairy before she turns one? ARE YOU TRYING TO KILL HER?!!!

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  • Our next couple has been married for some time. They have taller children and now text those children about as often as they text each other. You'll notice this couple won't come out and express their love in words, per se...

  • The seasoned parent texts

    • No, son, I won't smell your hair to guess how long it's been since you washed it. Ask your dad.

    • Tell him it was cute when he was 5, but if he does that at the church party, I will rent out his bedroom.

    • Laundry soap, skim milk, duct tape, prozac, deodorant. And get me a Snickers.

  • Romance takes on a sentimental, nostalgic quality in the twilight years. Sadly, however, a mature couple's conversations will rarely be recorded for posterity — since they don't know how to use i-anythings.

  • Texts from the rocking chair

    • The insurance guy wants to know if that thing on my back is still there.

    • This autocorrect is for the burts. If I wanted to say "nazi soup" instead of "matzo soup" I would have written hat.

    • *that

    • Zolpidem is the same thing, Honey. But remember you can't take that because it makes you forget important things, like wearing pants.

  • Ah, yes. Romantic love and its subtle changes throughout a couple's life. Thank heaven it's all being documented.

  • Are you brave enough to share what you've added to your love story today?

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Davison Cheney attended a university to became proficient in music and theater, preparing him to be unemployed and to over-react. Check out his blog davisoncheneymegadad.blogspot.com

Website: http://davisoncheneymegadad.blogspot.com

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