On my blog, I shared 10 tips for staying connected with your husband and preventing outside activities from taking over your life. Since then I've thought of some additional tips and read several great blog posts that inspired others. So, before your life gets too crazy this fall, consider 8 more ideas to help you stay connected as a couple. Between these tips and the previous 10, I hope you can find two or three that will help you connect with your husband and keep your marriage as a priority.
Put away your phone, tablet and computer and spend time together without the electronic distractions. And if you need a reminder of why it's important to focus less on our gadgets and more on the people we love, check out this great reminder video, "A Silent Message for All of Us."
2. Kiss him like you mean it
After a few years of marriage, the 'hot and heavy' kissing we once enjoyed often disappears. Add a couple of kids and a busy schedule to the mix, and kissing tends to be relegated to a pathetic peck on the lips a couple of times a day! One way to stay connected to your husband is to kiss him like you mean it – every day!
3. Touch base during the day
If your schedules allow it, talk on the phone at least once a day, just to see how things are going for both of you. If talking isn't feasible, send a brief email or text, just to let him know you're thinking of him.
4. Crank up your sexual energy
I'm not talking about having more sex (although that's good too!), but rather about infusing your marriage with sexual energy – the communications and actions that say "I want you." Sexual energy "boosters" come in many forms – texts, nicknames, code words, quick-but-steamy kisses or touches, planning and anticipating sexual activities, trying something outside your comfort zone, and anything else that keeps you connected sexually.
It's easy to get stuck in our daily routines and miss the needs all around us, needs God is often calling His people to meet. But maybe God is calling us and our husbands to break out of our routines once in a while and do something for Him. Stepping out in faith to do God's work is a great way to stay connected, while meeting real needs in our communities. For couples with young children it could be something simple, like serving together at a soup kitchen once a quarter. For those with no children or older children it might be something bigger, like working regularly in a homeless ministry or taking a mission trip together.
7. Let go of small things that interfere with your connection
Do you hang onto small annoyances, things your husband says or does that really bug you? I try not to, but sometimes it requires putting mind over emotions, making a conscious choice to let it go. It's hard to maintain a positive connection if you feel annoyed with him frequently, so consider making the choice to let some things go. I'm not talking about serious issues in your marriage (those need to be addressed), but rather the small things that just aren't worth the anger or frustration you invest in them.
Rather than always focusing on your own projects, change things up sometimes and work on projects together. If he always does the yard work and outside projects, for example, work together outside one Saturday. Or if you do all of the interior painting, ask him to work with you one weekend to paint a room. Or work on a project you both enjoy (like gardening) or share the "pain" of a project you both hate (like cleaning out the garage).
How do you and your husband stay connected when life gets crazy?
Editor's note: This article was originally published on Gaye Groover Christmus' blog, Calm. Healthy. Sexy. It has been modified and republished here with permission.
Gaye Groover Christmus, MPH is a wife and mom to two almost-grown sons. In her “day job” she works as a writer and editor in a health field. Her passion, though, is encouraging married women to slow down, live with vitality and energy, and create joy and intimacy in their marriages. She believes that small steps can lead to big changes, and that women armed with knowledge and a plan can transform their hurried, hectic lives. Gaye blogs at CalmHealthySexy. She’d love to send you her ebook, 17 Ways to Live Calmer, Healthier and Sexier – Starting Today – as a gift when you subscribe to the blog.