It happens in the best of marriages. Things are going along smoothly and then one day you wake up and realize that things aren’t as electrifying as they used to be with each other. You still love each other, and you can’t imagine your life without each other, but your marriage just doesn’t have the pizzazz that it once did.
This often happens when couples get comfortable with each other. Couples can’t wait to hit that stage in their relationship when they finally feel comfortable with each other. They think this means that they don’t have to try as hard to meet the other one’s needs because they are just automatically and unknowingly already doing it. You can’t wait to finally find that comfortable routine with each other where you’re both happy and the relationship finally becomes effortless.
Unfortunately, this sort of effortless comfort in a relationship is something that only happens in fairy tales. In fact, it can even be damaging to your relationship. Marriages take work. That’s all there is to it. If you’re in a comfortable routine it’s likely that you or your spouse are not feeling emotionally connected. And when that happens, boredom strikes.
Here are some things you can do to eliminate boredom and add some excitement into your marriage.
1. Do new things together
Think back to when you were dating. You were going out to new places, trying new things together, etc. And you were getting to know each other through these new experiences you’d never experienced together. Doing new things together does the same thing as when you were dating, it makes you and your spouse get to know each other in new ways. So go ahead, try that new restaurant you’ve never been to. You’ll love seeing your spouse light up when they try that new food.
2. Turn off the TV
. When’s the last time you had just a night together with no interruptions? What would you do? What would you say? Well, believe it or not you’ll actually probably find something uniquely fun to do. That’s what they used to do before TV was around. All that unadulterated time with your spouse will force you both to find fun things to do together.
Spice up the bedroom
When relationships get boring intimacy usually gets boring, too. Trying new things to spice up the bedroom will help you and your spouse find new ways of communicating, and find new ways of connecting to conquer that boredom. Maybe suggest new times of the day to get intimate or even be more spontaneous. Communication is the key to creating some fun and some spice while getting rid of boredom.
Boredom in the relationship is not a good place to be in your marriage. Marriage is supposed to be exciting, fun and passionate. If you’re bored, it’s a good chance that your spouse is bored, too and will welcome any ideas to make things better.
Aaron Anderson is a therapist and Director of The Marriage and Family Clinic in Denver, CO. He is a writer, speaker and relationship expert. Checkout his blog for expert information on how to improve your relationship.