5 steps to landing a second date

You've landed the first date — here’s how to land the second!

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  • Congratulations — you've gotten a first date!

  • Many studies show that you can tell within the first few moments of a date whether it will be a good match or not. Is your date talking with his or her hands? Men who talk with their hands tend to be good communicators. And if you notice that your date is subtly leaning forward and mimicking your gestures, that's an excellent sign that they are listening to and engaged in what you're saying. That's exactly what you're looking for!

  • So what else do you want to do, to guarantee a second date?

  • 1. Ask questions/be communicative

  • Women feel more connected when men laugh with them, use the word "you" a lot, ask questions and interject in the conversation to show they're paying attention. And women, it's important to speak confidently and keep the conversation from lagging — it's OK to talk about yourself; use words like "I," "me," "myself." Men say that they feel more of a spark when you speak that way, rather than when you limit the conversation by saying things like "kinda," "sort of" and "maybe."

  • 2. Use a more masculine or feminine pitch

  • Women who feel connected to their dates speak at a higher pitch and volume, making their excitement and immersion in the conversation more obvious. Mens' pitch, however, varies a lot less, reflecting their masculinity. Men are also more likely to laugh and vary their volume (also showing interest and excitement). It's science, folks.

  • 3. Be nice, especially to other people

  • This might seem obvious, but it might not be to some. Women will notice whether men are nice to the server, and how skimpy of a tip they leave him or her. Whether you are kind to those around you will be noticed by — and important to — your date.

  • 4. Men — pick up the tab

  • When the bill comes, reach for it. If she offers to split the tab, politely refuse. I always say that if you offer twice and she still wants to split, it's not worth arguing; it's obviously important to her. But if you don't at least offer to pick up the tab, you may not get a second date. Women, let him pay for the tab. It's gentlemanly, and you can offer to buy dessert or dinner the next time, which is a great way to keep things going.

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  • 5. Go for a kiss!

  • The anticipation is probably killing her. Step up to the plate, or she might think you're never going to do it, give up and file you under "friend zone." If you know you're hitting it off, she's going to be anticipating it. An appropriate smooch can be a great end to a date.

  • There you have it! Your job is to land the first date. Follow these and you'll most likely have a second one to look forward to.

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Erin Adair lives in the Rocky Mountains with her husband & tiny dog Violet. She has an alarming obsession with books and is often seen with her hands stained by ink or splashed with paint.

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