One of the most pinnacle moments in a relationship is getting married. Weddings are exciting times to share with family and friends and celebrate together. However, after all the hoopla is over, some brides may find themselves the blue item in the "something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue" tradition.
Not all brides suffer from post-wedding blues, but why do some? How can you avoid feeling this way after you get married?
Do you view your wedding — the ceremony and reception — from a selfish standpoint?
Some brides seem to believe that it is "their day" and basically, no one else matters. This will only lead to a lot of discontent. Sure, you're getting married and it is a special day for you AND your husband, but there are a lot of people who want to support you and celebrate with you. If you are leaning toward becoming a self-centered "bridezilla," you may want to take half a dozen chill pills and relax. If you get overly controlling about all the details, yes, your day will be ruined, and likely, so will some of your relationships, because of you. Be a gracious bride. Love the people who have come to support, love and celebrate with you — not to mention, brought you a gift as well.
Do you know what to expect after you get married?
This is something you need to discuss with your future spouse. Who is going to be responsible for what household tasks? Are you going to clean the house and do yard work together? Are both or either of you planning to further your education beyond what you currently have? Are you going to jump right into starting a family or wait? These topics are important to discuss so you each know what you expect and what is expected of each other. Having a clear path for the future can help alleviate some of the stress of the unknown. If you know who is going to fulfill which roles beforehand, it'll make the transition from being single to married smoother.
Are you looking forward to the wedding more than actually being married?
If so, this could cause you to feel let down after the excitement of the celebration. Try seeing the wedding as the beginning of your life together rather than the culmination of your relationship. Getting married is just one step, albeit a big one, in many years of marital happiness. Getting married leads to building a life together — children, buying a house, moving from place to place, family vacations and lots of growing together through both good and bad times. View your wedding as a jumping-off point to your marriage. Because one day out of your entire life is way too little to put that much emphasis on in the grand scheme of your marriage.
Instead of looking at your wedding like the biggest part of your life, see it as the beginning of the greatest part of your life. Putting too much emphasis on the specifics of one day can lead to after-wedding blues. After the celebration with friends and family, you still have the honeymoon, job searches, moving in to a new home, having children, becoming grandparents and great grandparents and so many more wonderful celebrations to look forward to. Maintaining a realistic perspective can help you avoid the blues and allow you to be a happy bride.
Wendy is a regular contributor for familyshare.com and does media reviews. Website: https://survivorshopeandhealing.wordpress.com/ for victims of sexual abuse. Blog: https://wendyejessen.wordpress.com Twitter: @WendyJessen