Life is full of little discussions, arguments and fights. It shouldn't matter whether these conversations are major or minor, you should win. Win at all costs. You practice your victory dance for a reason. You've been a winner all your life, and there should be no exceptions. It's your way or the highway, correct?
If you are looking to sharpen your winning skills or need another reason to put all that victory dance practice to good use, rest easy; these 9 ways to win an argument won't let you down.
1. Balloons are mandatory
Sucking in helium before you speak is a great way to gain dominance over the conversation. You will be sure to quickly win everyone's attention with your high-pitched, slightly annoying and distracting voice.
2. Argue like Jeopardy
If you are committed to winning, you must answer every question you are asked in the style of Jeopardy. "What is... I'm too tired to do the dishes after work" shows your intellect in any sort of argument, making you the clear cut winner.
3. Question everything
Avoid a 'wrong' answer by turning everything into a question. If you are asked the question, "Have you talked to the kids about doing their chores?" reverse the inquisition for the advantage; "Have YOU talked to the kids about doing their chores?" This puts the ball in your court and gives you all the control.
4. Use a classic red herring
For this winning method, bring an actual herring as a prop to accompany your argument. How would you not have the upper hand when you brought a fish to the table? For greater impact, bring several herrings to a discussion. The element of surprise is key.
5. Just like Law & Order
Your habit of watching episodes of Law & Order are about to come in handy. In anydiscussion, be sure to ask loads of leading questions and act just like your favorite prosecuting attorney. Being a powerful authority figure and treating simple arguments like a court defense puts victory in your back pocket.
6. Be the Riddler
Loads of word games, riddles and puzzles are a must if you want to guarantee a win. Confusing your opponent is a great way to emerge victorious in any sort of argument. Style points are rewarded if you dress like this classic villain, but that goes without saying.
7. Repetition, repetition, repetition
Stating your point multiple times is a surefire way to convince your opponent you are right. To speed up this process, increase your volume with every repetition. Use a megaphone if necessary to reach maximum volume while repeating everything.
"How can you be wrong if you say something Abraham Lincoln said?" -George Washington
9. The last word
If you get the last word, you win. It's a classic rule of debate and arguing. Warning: you may have to say "fine" many times in order to wear down your opponent to get the last word. The win is worth it, right?
These tricks are sure to draw attention to yourself and may guarantee a sort of victory, but there is a catch; The actual goal of a discussion is to come to a compromise that everyone is happy with. This may not happen if you are set on winning and getting your way. While these two things may be the way you approach an argument, if they are the outcome than you've failed in coming to an agreement. Don't worry though, if you used these 9 tricks to do that, you certainly argue in style.
Emily is putting her English and Humanities degree to use editing and writing all over the world. Trying to see all 7 world wonders (while visiting as many countries as she can in between), Emily loves wandering alleyways, beautifully photographed food, stumbling upon impromptu flea and food markets. She can usually be found camera in hand, munching on a street food and never has her headphones out of reach.