Editor's note: This article was originally published on Becky Moseley's blog, Tales of Beauty for Ashes. It has been republished here with permission.
We are headed to a family vacation next week.
My husband, toddler, infant and me are all headed to my parent's house.
It has been a while since they lived with a toddler, since it the last time was when I was one.
Therefore, I created this list 20 things to know before having a toddler in the house.
Milk will be spilled.
We are potty training, accidents happen. Most of the time, they occur at the worst moments possible.
Don't count on nap time. It's never a sure thing.
If they miss nap time, there will be a greater amount of fussing during the day.
Expect a daily dose of tears and tantrums.
Expect that number to increase exponentially if they are hungry, tired, or you have something they want.
You will see a nudey booty.
Bedtime brings out the wild side, expect running and screaming in delight, possibly naked. See #7
Bath time is a full room event. There will be water on the walls, floors, counters and you. You won't need to shower after, since you will have received one during that time.
They pick up more than you think. If you swear, so will they. If you pick your nose, they will do the same. They will probably try to pick YOUR nose to see what's so interesting.
Toddlers have no filter. Luckily, other people have a hard time understanding them. When your toddler is pointing out the crazy hair that a store cashier has; you might know they are making fun of it, but no one else does. Usually.
If something looks really gross, chances are … it will end up in their mouth. Or spread all over the house.
Hold their hand in public. It's much easier than chasing them down the street. Who knew little legs could move so fast.
They are smarter than you give them credit for. If you told them to finish eating and then leave the room, when you return, it appears they did, but the dog licking his lips is a sure giveaway that it didn't happen.
Toddlers like to kiss you, with tongue. If you ask for a kiss on the cheek, be prepared for a VERY wet cheek when they are done.
If you ask for a kiss, you probably won't get it. Act like you don't want one and you have a higher chance.
They are adorable when sleeping.
They like to talk to themselves, if you listen in, you will learn about how their brain works. "Don't go poopy in the diaper, Ducky" helps you realize that she DOES understand not to, even though she persists in doing so.
They love to sing. They only know a few words but they will belt it out with more pride and gusto than any pop star.
Their "I love you" makes you forget about all the messes, spills, tantrums, etc.
Becky traded in her teaching degree for diapers and dishes. Her blog, Tales of Beauty for Ashes, has tricks on anything from how to have a better marriage, to toddler activities. She is the author of the book, "The 30 Day Marriage Challenge."