His heart's pounding, he's short of breath, and he begins to sweat. He's not exercising. This is a normal man about to propose marriage. What is the guiding factor that makes a man overcome a whole lot of fears and insecurities to ask a woman to marry him? Current society and social media would say it's all about her being beautiful. Cosmetic companies are literally banking on women believing this is true. Fashion is just now coming around to the idea that not everyone is size two. Over 28 percent of fashion purchasers aren't single digit sizes according to THE WEEK.
It's not your makeup or wardrobe
Is media is telling the public what it wants them to believe? Yes, Virginia, there's a real probability. Beauty sells more than average does, but even the fashion industry can't agree on beauty itself. ''Some girls come in and look like nothing, but then you open their book and find they are the face of Prada,'' said Marilena Borgna, public relations director for the designer Alberta Ferretti. ''Some might have no beauty but are interesting. Some are strong but not sophisticated, or sophisticated but too normal to be of use.'' Yugoslavian model Natasha Vojnovic admits, "You need the looks, sure, but people react more to the girl who walks in with the energy.''
It's not how the world sees you
Plato got it right 2300 plus years ago when he said, "Beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder." Dr. Elizabeth McClintock is more contemporary in Psychology Today when she pointed out that studies show people in a relationship rate the importance of beauty significantly lower than single people. Couples rate their romantic partners much higher in beauty than do unbiased third-party observers proving Shakespeare was right: "Love looks not with the eyes, but with the mind and therefore is winged Cupid painted blind."
The author Catherine Ingram said it well, "When we love, we see beauty; we speak in beauty; we walk in beauty. In love, we are beauty itself." She went on to say, "Beauty is not about how a person, place, or thing looks; it is about how the one who is looking feels."
The previously mentioned man who was agitatedly preparing to "pop the question" isn't doing so because he picked someone out of a catalogue. Putting aside the exceptions, an average man chooses someone he loves. He may already think she is beautiful, but she will become more so as their love grows. A cosmetic company in 1999 used the phrase "beauty is as beauty does," but perhaps the truth lies in beauty does than beauty is. When the man is in love, his wife is beautiful.
Kent Larson is from Phoenix, Arizona. He's been happily married for 30 years. They have two sets of twins and he's been teaching for 26 years. His interests are his family, writing, reading, music, and movies. Find him at kentalarson.wordpress.com.