Your daughter is watching: another reason to stop the self-hate

Your personal hate is contagious. What are you passing down to your daughter?

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  • For whatever reason, we tend to be especially critical of ourselves. We are relentless with how we perceive our looks, talents or decisions. We beat ourselves up over short-comings and have higher expectations for ourselves than we do for others.

  • What if your opinions about yourself are contagious and you pass them to your daughters? How do you hope your daughters will see themselves?

  • In this Dove commercial, mothers were asked how they felt about their bodies. They point out various body parts they dislike—eyes, arms, legs. One woman mentioned that her smile keeps her skin nice.

  • Their young daughters were asked the same question.

  • Astonishingly, the daughters' answers reflected exactly what their mothers' feelings were. They had the same qualms about their bodies—despite any efforts their mothers made to tell them otherwise.

  • "Self-worth and beauty—it is an echo. It can echo from me to them, and then from them to others," one woman stated. Another said, "How I feel about myself really affects how she feels about herself."

  • As mothers, if we want our daughters to have confidence, self-worth and to love who they are, then we need to be an example of that to them. "The way a girl feels about her beauty, starts with how you feel about yours."

  • Girls look to their moms as an example for everything. It is important that we make sure we are the kind of example we want them to have. If you struggle with seeing yourself fairly, work on it. Tell yourself you're beautiful, smart, capable and confident—and believe it. After all, isn't that how you want your daughters to see themselves? Isn't that how your mom would want you to see yourself?

  • Read this article to understand why you need to stop throwing sticks and stones at yourself. Also, check out this important viewpoint on body-shaming yourself.

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Wendy is a regular contributor for familyshare.com and does media reviews. Website: https://survivorshopeandhealing.wordpress.com/ for victims of sexual abuse. Blog: https://wendyejessen.wordpress.com Twitter: @WendyJessen

Website: https://survivorshopeandhealing.wordpress.com/

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