Are you stifling your child's ability to be a fantastic adult?
Every child will eventually grow up and leave home. Whether they go away to college, choose a career, get married, or simply move to their own place they will begin that next phase of life known as adulthood.
Every child will eventually grow up and leave home. Whether they go away to college, choose a career, get married, or simply move to their own place they will begin that next phase of life known as adulthood. As a parent, it is your responsibility to prepare them for this next important step. Sometimes, you might be hampering this preparation without even realizing it.
Here are five important things to avoid doing with your teenager so that they are better prepared to leave home:
Not teaching them responsibilities.
While it is much easier to just take care of things at home on your own, there is an important reason that we give children chores and responsibilities at home. These early chores start to teach our children not only how to clean and care for areas of a home, but how to be accountable and responsible for completing tasks. A child who is never expected to do chores around the home will be missing out on a great opportunity. School can be another way of teaching your children about responsibility. While you shouldn't expect your child to get straight A's, you can encourage good study habits and being responsible for their attendance. If you fail to teach your child how to have responsibility, you will be doing them a disservice as they move onto the next phase of their lives.
Yes, your child is wonderful. Yes, you want them to know that. But there are negative side effects that come from complimenting children on things they don't actually deserve compliments on. Children will eventually realize it is only their parents that praise all they do. In the long run, excessive parental approval pushes children to avoid the unpleasent realities that await in the real world.
Wanting to be loved
If you're really teaching and implementing the values children need to be learning, chances are there will be a lot of restraints put in place at some points to help your child learn discipline. While these are sometimes necessary, they are rarely popular with children. Loving parents recognize that being temporarily hated for rules can produce greater benefits in the long run.
Fixing their mistakes or taking care of everything for them.
Every child makes mistakes as he/she is growing up. This is an important part of learning. Parents who repeatedly come to the rescue of their children and take away the natural consequences of mistakes by fixing or solving problems are not teaching their child necessary life skills. It's through mistakes, both big and small, and the consequences that follow that your child will learn how to interact in the world. If you are continually making sure your child has an easy path to follow, they will never learn there are bumps in the road and how to learn from them. While it is important to be supportive and be a resource for your child during tough times, it is critical to make sure you are not always stepping in front of them or running interference on problems that may arise.
We were all once teenagers and made mistakes many teenagers make. You can help your teen navigate through those raging years by sharing with them some of the mistakes you made when you were their age, and the ways you could have avoided them. These mistakes shouldn't be heavy ones dealing with major problems, but rather small, common ones that can help show them you understand what they are going through.
Not teaching them about money.
Learning to be responsible and how to learn from mistakes are important, but the most important task you need to teach your child is how to manage their money. If you aren't teaching your child how to budget and control expenses they could quickly be moving right back home. Learning how to manage and budget money is a critical life skill every adult should have, and the best way for an adult to know this is to be taught from an early age. One way to teach a child about money is through an allowance. As they get a job you can help them learn to budget based on their income. The important thing is to make sure to talk to them and teach them how to plan expenses based on their income.
When your child grows up and leaves home, it may be a sad or happy experience. Depending on how you prepare them for this important step, it doesn't have to be a scary one, as well. Avoid the pitfalls and make sure your child is well prepared to take that step out on their own.