Editor's note: This article was originally published on Becky Moseley's blog, Tales of Beauty for Ashes. It has been republished here with permission.
You can usually tell how good a marriage is by the way the couple interacts with each other. It's really not that hard. Notice how she looks at him. Does she look at him with desire and admiration? Watch his hands as he stands by her. Are they solemnly by his side, or is he holding her hand? Possibly his hand is on the small of her back. How about this seemingly obvious one; do they smile at each other?
Having a happy marriage doesn't come naturally. In order to have a happy marriage, you have to have happy people. It takes work to develop the habits of happy wives.
Being a happy wife is simple enough, but we have to put our own selfishness aside to do so. Are you ready for the challenge?
8 habits of happy wives
1. Let things go
I'm sure your husband is annoying. I'm sure he's got those things that just get under your skin. Maybe it's the toilet paper roll. Maybe it's his boxers on the ground. Whatever it is, it makes you frustrated. Well … let it go. One common thing among happy wives is they don't keep a record of ways their husband has wronged them.
2. Look for the good
Last week, my husband and I were just not connecting. I felt like it was his fault and told him as much. He gave me a suggestion that changed EVERYTHING for me. He asked me to look for him doing good, rather than focus on what he wasn't doing. I was amazed that when I started looking, I saw how much he actually did what I thought was missing.
Don't stop learning about each other. Your husband is a deep well of thoughts, feelings, emotions, hopes and dreams. (I know what you might be thinking, "Uh. Not MY husband. He's a caveman." But sometimes, those guys that are the hardest to open up, have the most they long to share.) Ask about him. Inquire about his day, work on getting to know him as you did when you were dating.
4. Less complaining, more restraining
It's easy to complain to our husband. The dog ran off and you had to chase her down the street. Or maybe, you are complaining about him. Why is he home late again? When is he going to spend more time with the kids? When do you get a break? A habit of a happy wife, is restraining the tongue. When those complaints form on your tongue, stop and think, "Do I really need to say this?" Chances are, if you wait an hour to say your complaint, you will have forgotten it completely.
It is amazing how a smile can not only change your own attitude but the attitude of those around you. Not only that, but it can drastically alter your appearance.
Most men experience love through physical touch. Most women withhold touch if they aren't feeling connected. Thus, the downward spiral starts. Take a leap of faith, be vulnerable and touch your man. Hold his hand. Kiss him.
Becky traded in her teaching degree for diapers and dishes. Her blog, Tales of Beauty for Ashes, has tricks on anything from how to have a better marriage, to toddler activities. She is the author of the book, "The 30 Day Marriage Challenge."