I stay home to care for our children. Therefore, I am a luxury to my husband. This is the point of view of an insightful article I read several weeks ago. I whole-heartedly agree with the author of this piece, and so does my husband.
But after discussing this, The Mr. and I agreed she was missing a very vital point.
I get to stay home with my children. I get to wake their sleepy heads every early morning and be the first to hug and kiss them, the first to say "It's a beautiful day. Now rise and shine."
I get to be the last person they see on their way out the door into the outside world. I get to be home when they get home from school. And some days, I get to pick them up from school and hear their stories fresh off the press.
I get to chauffeur them around the city to their activities and passions, and sometimes I get to sit and watch them be amazing little beings.
I get to take G-Man outside in the middle of any day and fly with him on the swings, leap and jump on the trampoline, or chase birds around the yard. I get to plan healthy meals for my family, and prepare dinners where we can sit around our table and share with each other, learn from each other and listen to each other.
I get to sing to them at bedtime and be awed at PixieDoll's ability to memorize songs so quickly. It is a joy listening to her sing along with me. I get to tuck them in, say good night and be the last person they hear from before they drift away into wondrous dreams.
I get to do these things, and so much more for one reason only: Because The Mr., my husband, is a luxury to me.
I have done the working outside the home and be a full-time mom thing. I've done it for many years. I've had a nanny before. I have missed wake-ups and bedtimes, drop-offs and simple middle of the day adventures and everything in between. It was hard to miss those things, but it was necessary for me to help work our new business and turn it into everything we envisioned it to be. So I did.
In April 2013, I got to quit working outside the home. This was a hard decision. I loved being involved with our business, knowing what was going on, having that strong connection with The Mr. and watching our business that we built from the ground up, thrive and grow and expand before our very eyes.
I had a place, I knew my place and I was afraid of losing it. I quit for my littles. Our G-Man was due in May 2013, and after much discussion, The Mr. and I decided it was time for me to be home, really home, with all four of our amazing replicas.
Honestly, it scared me a little. I had a routine with work, with the children, and it was all changing. I would not have that two-days-a-week escape to work where I enjoyed adult conversations and challenges of a different nature.
I knew it was time for a new adventure, so I dove right in — suffocated a little bit — and eventually found my way above the surface and caught my breath. These past 18 months I have truly become a luxury to my husband. And I love it. I love that I get to do all these things I do. Monotonous as they seem at times, they are important, and I wouldn't want anyone else doing my job. No matter, how hard it is some days.
I also know that not everyone has the luxury of their spouse being home full time, and that is OK. No one is a bad parent for having to work outside the home. Me, becoming a luxury to The Mr., is simply what was right for our family.
However, I would not even have the option of doing what I do if it were not for The Mr. He works tirelessly, sometimes into the early hours of the next day, as that is when China is awake. He has turned his dream into a successful reality that allows me to not have to work. He has given me the choice to be or not to be a luxury to him. But most importantly, he supports me in my decision. He loves that I am home for everything. He has peace in his soul when work brings travels abroad, knowing that all our precious littles are safely cared for and loved to no measure.
His support and love for my decision to be home gives me the freedom to do it without guilt. I am free of stress and pressure to provide additional income for our family. My job, work and focus is our family, our children and our success as a family together.
Sometimes it is hard to see some of the perks and benefits of being home, day after day, when you are in the thick of it all.
Recently, we had an experience in California at Champion's gymnastics meet. Our drive to Cali was when we talked about the above-mentioned article, so it was fresh on both our minds. It was the end of the meet, and all the gymnasts in attendance had the privilege to participate in a mini-camp with some amazing trainers. They invited the parents onto the floor for a closer look and hear what they were being taught.
As I sat there watching Champion, flip and turn and stretch his body in unnatural ways, The Mr. leaned over and said, "This is why you are a luxury to me and to our family. Champion is here today because you are the luxury of seeing that his old gym wasn't right, that something was off there, and that he needed something different to help him reach his potential. You were the one who watched his practices, talked to coaches and felt that things weren't right. You were there looking out for Champion and made the right decision to move to a new gym. He is where he is today, because of you. There is no other person in the world who could have seen, felt and acted on those things. That is exactly why you are a luxury to all of us. Thank you for that."
Cue tears; me crying, right there in the middle of a gymnastics floor, trying not to look pathetic and failing.
His words struck my heart and validated everything I do for our family. I then explained to him, just what I have already said. I can only be a luxury as long as he is a luxury to me. So, my dear husband, thank you for being my luxury.