Does a man have to wait on his pregnant wife?

Pulling the pregnancy card can really wear on your husband.

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  • Does a man have to wait on his pregnant wife? The short answer? Yes. A woman goes through a lot when she is pregnant and the least thing a husband can do is wait on his wife during this time. However, with that said, a wife, should not take advantage of her husband's expected role. It can be easy and tempting to fall prey to "expected" behaviors, but in order for both the husband and wife to survive this emotional time, there are a few things the wife should remember.

  • 1. Don't overuse the pregnancy card

  • Being pregnant is a beautiful thing. Every child is unique, thus every birth and pregnancy is unique. Some women have a horrible nine months of sickness, swollen ankles, backaches and all-over misery, while others find they have never felt better. No matter what kind of pregnancy you are having, it will only last nine months. Those nine months are the only months you can ask for a little more without feeling like you are being selfish, unreasonable or greedy. There is a reason there is expectant mother parking outside malls and certain stores. Pregnant woman do deserve a little more. I mean, they are growing another life inside of them, and that is pretty amazing.

  • But pulling the pregnancy card, or using your pregnancy as reason to not do something on a daily basis, can really wear on your husband. While he needs to be extra understanding at this time of your life, try putting yourself in his shoes. He does not know what you are going through. He never will. All he sees is his beautiful wife acting very strangely, and it can be just as confusing for him as it is for you. So when you are feeling well enough take advantage of that and bring some normalcy back into your home. Even though you are pregnant life does not stop and your roles are still vital to your home. Make dinner, do some chores and let your husband know that you appreciate his efforts in trying to make you comfortable.

  • 2. Don't forget your husband is going through changes as well

  • While his body does not change during pregnancy, he is going through emotional change, just like you. A baby is coming into your life, and whether it is your first or sixth, it means change. Your husband may be experiencing worries, fears and anxiety in welcoming a baby into your home. His wife is going through a huge change, and there is always a possibility of complications and health risks for her and the baby. He is adding a child to his home, which means more expenses, a life to be responsible for, and changes to his home. At the same time, he may be struggling with how he will be as a father. All of these emotions are affecting him, yet he may feel he cannot express these feelings because he is not the one who is pregnant.

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  • Take time to talk with your husband. Talk about your concerns and plans for raising your child, and let him know you are there for him. By being sensitive to his feelings, he will feel more secure and better able to help you through all your emotional changes.

  • 3. Don't become pregnant-wifezilla

  • It can be very easy to blame all of your bad moods, all of your outbursts and basically all of your misbehavior on your pregnancy. It is natural, when you find out you are pregnant, to magnify every feeling you have. A little nausea turns into a whole day of lying on the couch and some frustration can result in a full-blown screaming fit. While hormones and morning sickness can be extreme, painful and debilitating, be careful not to over read your feelings. Nine months of giving in to these feelings can create a habit of justifying these outbursts, and it can be hard to stop once your body has recovered physically and hormonally from your pregnancy.

  • When you are feeling a bad mood coming on, try focusing on what makes you relax. Put your feet up while you read a magazine, go for a walk or my personal favorite, take a bubble bath. When you feel you are getting sick or having a meltdown, resort to one of these activities instead of lashing out at the ones you love the most.

  • A husband should be more than willing to wait on his wife while she is pregnant. In fact, he should wait on her all the time. But let's be honest, pregnancy is a trying time for everyone involved. In the midst of growing a baby, struggling with hormones and watching her feet disappear under a growing belly a woman may lose her patience every once in a while. A husband should be understanding of this, but a wife should also try to remember these little tips to make things just a bit easier on everyone.

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Megan Shauri graduated with a bachelors in anthropology and a masters in psychology. She is a mother of twins.

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