Marriage is wonderful. Don't allow the small things to get in the way of keeping the flame alive in your marriage. It is up to each of you, individually and together, to make this happen. Realize that building a successful marriage takes a lifetime of effort.
There are many different activities you can do to rekindle the flame if the fire begins to go down. Here are just a few:
1. Communicate regularly
Communication is more than talking. It is an exchange between the two of you where talking, listening and understanding occurs. It involves the ability to pay attention to what your spouse is thinking and feeling. Good communication builds both parties up, increases self-esteem and is uplifting.
Help your spouse feel comfortable talking with you. This requires respecting each other's opinion. You will not always agree. However, you can always be respectful of the other person's opinion.
2. Connect emotionally
Understanding and listening to the needs and wants of your spouse helps bring the two of you closer together. Continue to get to know each other on a deeper level. A good question to ask your spouse is "How best can I love you?" Then listen to their response and do what you can to meet their desires.
3. Connect physically
Make time each week to spend on romance and intimacy. Throughout the week, flirt with your spouse — remind them that you're attracted to them. This could be through texts, small comments or simply smiling. Let them know you are still interested. Hugging and kissing often will go a long way in rekindling the flame. Remember to keep holding hands.
It is also important to maintain a good sexual relationship with your spouse. Sexual relations bring the two of you together in a way that no other activity can. Make sure to talk about your likes and dislikes. A marriage with a healthy sexual life will more likely be stronger in other areas, as well.
4. Spend time together
Have fun together more often than not and enjoy spending time together. Make sure to include play in your relationship. Go out on dates regularly — before and after you have children. Always feel safe together. Make your home and relationship a safe place for each of you.
Don't take life (or anything else) too seriously. Laughing helps put things in perspective. When you laugh together, it's hard to be angry.
6. Look for the best in each other
When you look for and focus on the best in others, we see the best. Laughter reduces stress, relieves tension, and lifts your spirits. Share funny moments from your day, watch funny movies together, and always remember to smile.
7. Be attractive
Once married, do not get in the mindset that you do not need to keep yourself looking good. Maintain your attractiveness by staying healthy and fit. Realize that your definition of attractiveness will change as you get older. Ask your spouse what he or she finds attractive and do what you can to maintain that attractiveness.
Before marriage, we do our best to look good and "woo" the person we are dating. Why should that change just because you get married? Continue to "woo" your spouse.
8. Express gratitude
Saying "thank you" is also an important key in rekindling the flame in your marriage. Don't take the little things for granted. Let your spouse know how much she (and her simple gestures) means to you each and every day.
9. Love each other
Love is an action word. It is the very foundation of a good marriage. As long as you choose to fortify your love in marriage, you will be happy. George Washington, in a letter to Burwell Bassett, dated May 23, 1785, wrote, "I have always considered marriage as the most interesting event of one's life, the foundation of happiness or misery." Make your relationship and life, a happy one.
Be faithful to each other. This includes physically as well as emotionally faithful. Be aware of how your actions are perceived by your spouse and others with whom you interact.
10. List 10 positives about your relationship
When we look for the positive, we find it. When we look for negative, we find that too. Look for the positive in your relationship, now and always. Benjamin Franklin said, "Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, half shut afterwards."
An activity to recognize the positive in your relationship is journaling. Take time to write in a journal about your romantic partner. Try to write about your deepest thoughts and feelings about your relationship.