Editor's Note: This article was originally published on the Gwinnett Daily Post. It has been republished here with permission.
A great man once said, "The greatest work you ever do will be within the walls of your own home." I don't think he was talking about your misguided attempts to re-model the kitchen.
Clearly, those words apply to less-tangible kinds of home improvement — such as the relationship between husband and wife. Remember, guys, as Valentine's Day approaches, with all its emphasis on "hooking up": The most important pick-up lines you'll ever use come after she's already said "I do."
We all know about courtship before marriage. That's when you spend every waking moment pretending to be someone you're not just so she'll fall in love with you — sending her flowers, complimenting her incessantly, opening her car door.
Ten years and three kids later, you only send flowers when you've done something wrong. You think "this meat loaf ain't half bad" qualifies as a compliment. And she's occasionally tempted to open YOUR car door — while the vehicle is still moving.
Think back to when the two of you first met. What was the first thing you ever said to her? Chances are it was some kind of pick-up line, no doubt something suave and sophisticated, like "Are you from Tennessee? 'Cause you're the only 10 I see." Or "Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?"
All these years later, you've forgotten the importance of occasionally saying something that, although it may sound cheesy, at least lets your wife know she's still the sole object of your affections. (Even if that's not entirely true. After all, you can't whisper sweet nothings to a sports car or a bag of golf clubs.)
The words themselves may evolve somewhat, but the dual intent remains the same: to show your wife she's special while at the same time drawing her attention to you in a positive way, as opposed to the many negative ways you usually draw attention to yourself.
Here are some examples of good pick-up lines for married guys, guaranteed to make her fall in love with you all over again — or at least not banish you to the couch for a few weeks:
"Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Let me get those bags of groceries so it doesn't happen again."
"Why don't you go lie down, beautiful, while I slip into this sink full of dirty dishes."
"Hey, honey, I'm putting in a load of laundry. If I washed your nightgown, would you hold it against me?"
"Your eyes are like an ocean, baby, and I'm lost at sea. And speaking of oceans, why don't you let me change that diaper."
This Valentine's Day, in addition to the flowers and candy, try one of these lines. If you're really smooth, your sweetheart might even forget (for a few hours) that you still haven't finished remodeling the kitchen.
Rob Jenkins is a newspaper columnist, a happily-married father of four, and the author of "Family Man: The Art of Surviving Domestic Tranquility," available on Amazon. E-mail Rob at or follow him on Twitter .