Taking the power away from porn — for good

Every effort you make is worth being free from pornography's stranglehold. You can do this.

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  • The best way to stop pornography in its tracks is never to start. However, those who stumble need to know there is a way to overcome pornography addiction. Freedom from pornography is possible for every person who truly wants to cast off this horrible albatross — and here's help.

  • Desire with all your heart to be rid of this addiction

  • Understand the many ways pornography will destroy your future. No one consciously wants his future destroyed, and that is reason enough to change — reason enough to take the steps that will lead to a full recovery. Full recovery means never watching porn again.

  • Seek your spouse's support

  • If you're married, talk to your spouse about your addiction and ask for help and understanding. Having a spouse by your side during the process of overcoming this addiction will be significantly helpful. At no time lay the blame for your addiction on your spouse. It's your addiction. Because your spouse loves you, she or he will want to help you overcome your challenge.

  • One former addict said, "The day everything changed for me was the day my wife joined the journey. She is the ultimate example of grace and steadfast love. I am convinced without her I would still be addicted. Her discovery of my porn addiction meant I was no longer walking alone."

  • If you're single, talk to a trusted relative or friend to help you. When others understand your sincere desire, they will stand by you with encouragement and love as you take this journey toward healing.

  • Find a therapist who is expert in the field of sexual addiction

  • A good therapist will be the best investment you make at this point in your life. Your future depends on overcoming pornography, so it is important to seek professional help. A good therapist will know what works and what doesn't in battling pornography addiction. Make therapy worth your money, and be strict in following the counsel of your counselor.

  • Educate yourself

  • In an inspiring post titled "9 things that helped me overcome pornography," Jennifer Smith, creator of the "Unveiled Wife" blog, says, "Find resources that discuss pornography and all the different things that deal with it, including the oppression in the industry as well as the chemical reaction it causes in your body. Read books, blogs, testimonies, anything that unveils the truth about this issue. Far too many people are accepting and embracing pornography without truly understanding all that occurs with it. Please educate yourself. Doing so will add fuel to your strength of resisting porn."

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  • Take it one day at a time

  • Overcoming an addiction is a day-by-day task. Everyone can handle change for one day. If you look too far ahead, you may become discouraged. A recovered addict said, "Overcoming addiction happens when you get out of bed every morning and ask God for the strength to resist for that day. Before you know it, you will start winning weeks. Then months. Then years."

  • He continues, "But if you start by trying to win years, you will lose most days. Don't worry about long-term goals. They are meaningless in the initial stages of addiction. Focus on winning each day."

  • Some addicts track their progress by check-marking successful days on a private calendar. Seeing a month full of checks can be highly motivating. If you slipped up one day, focus on all the others that have a check mark. Soon, all days will be checked, and you will be on your way to full recovery.

  • Turn to God for help

  • Some things are just too hard to do without divine help. Addiction recovery is one of those things. Remember, in Matthew 19:26 (King James Version), it was Jesus who said, "... but with God all things are possible." Anyone seeking help in pornography recovery must pray every morning and ask for strength to resist. With God's help, anyone can overcome addiction.

  • Replace porn with an honorable activity

  • Once you are no longer involved with pornography, there will be an empty space. If you don't replace your addiction with some form of wholesome activity, it will creep back into your life. Until replaced with something else, it will remain your default activity. Don't let that happen.

  • If you enjoy running, go running. If you enjoy reading, do that — just avoid pornographic literature. If you enjoy visiting with friends, do it. Have more fun being with your spouse. Play a game with your kids. Fill your time with whatever activity will keep you away from pornography.

  • You can overcome this destructive addiction. You can be free of it — free to enjoy your spouse, your children, your job and other things that make life rich and full. You can win the fight against porn.

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Gary Lundberg is a licensed marriage and family therapist. Joy is a writer. Together they author books on relationships.

Website: http://garyjoylundberg.com

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