Many years ago, before marrying the love of my life, I was in a relationship with a guy I strongly believed was "the one." We had almost everything in common. We were inseparable. We discussed having a family of our own in the future. The relationship appeared unbreakable — until someone with a vast influence convinced my boyfriend otherwise. The breakup came unexpectedly, and I suffered deeply. During that time of suffering, a person told me, "Time heals all wounds," and I refused to believe it. But time did pass, and I did heal.
Breaking up with someone you love and care deeply for is unimaginable. In your heart and mind, everything is heading in the right direction. Meanwhile, the other person may feel differently. When the breakup happens, you feel lost, confused and angry. You want to do something, but can't. Your partner is sure of his or her actions. Though breakups are unbearable, your heart will heal. Love will come again.
Here are four ways to become stronger after a breakup:
Cope with the breakup
After a breakup, you feel lonely and despise the idea of being alone. You crave that sense of companionship. However, jumping into another relationship may not give you the time you need to heal. Before moving forward, take the time to scream, cry and vent to someone you trust. Give yourself all the time you need before rushing back into the dating scene.
Avoid contact with your ex
If the breakup was sudden, you may feel the urge to reach out to your ex for answers. Perhaps you know what happened and wish to mend things. It's best not to do so. No texting. No stalking on social media. If you see your partner with someone else, it's natural to feel jealous, but try not to act on it. Jealous acts lead to regrettable situations. Contact with your ex is not healthy for your state of mind. As hard as it is to do, try to move on the same way your ex did.
Don't let the breakup consume you
I know how difficult it is to concentrate on friends, family and work after a breakup. The broken relationship is the only thing weighing on your mind. But you don't realize how it is affecting you. Try to keep busy and focus on the things that matter. Surround yourself with family and friends who can make you laugh, and enjoy their company. Go to the movies, the gym, dinner or take a walk in the park.
Embrace the single life
Being single is not a bad thing. Living the single life gives you the opportunity to learn more about yourself, to explore different interests, to pursue your dreams.
Breakups are never easy. Often, they're painful and unfair. But if a relationship does not work out, it does not mean you will never find a true and honest relationship. Be patient. Hold on to your faith. The right person will walk into to your life at the right time.
Mayra Colón is a freelance writer, former independent author and avid reader. She holds a MBA from the University of Phoenix and completed the Freelance Writing and Selling Online course from Rutgers University of Arts and Sciences.