Husbands, is your wife as important as your car?

Paying attention to your new car is important. Paying attention to your wife is crucial. How are you measuring up?

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  • She says her husband has a bright, shiny new car. It's a beauty. She's happy for him. She's not saying she wants his new car and wishes it were hers. No, it's not about coveting his incredible new machine. She wants to be that incredible machine. Here's why.

  • He adores his new car

  • Even a casual passerby can easily see the love in his eyes as he approaches the car in the parking lot or stands by it in his driveway. There's no question that he loves his state-of-the-art automobile. He treats it with great respect. Ain't nobody ever gonna dare harm it, or they will sorely regret it. He's a warrior when it comes to protecting it. It appears to be the love of his life.

  • Is it selfish of a wife to want that same kind of adoration? C'mon. Think about it. Wives need to be adored to that degree. They love it when their husbands step forward to protect them. No matter how independent a woman may be, it still feels pretty wonderful to have a man who loves her enough to keep her from harm. She wants a man who isn't afraid to let the world know that she is number one in his life — that he adores her. She wants people to see it in his eyes when he's standing next to her. When she can tell he loves her that much, it gives her a sense of being treasured by the one she loves with all her heart.

  • He's proud of his new car

  • He brags about it. Just listen as he describes to his buddies all the reasons he loves that car. He raves on about all its many bells and whistles — the horsepower, the great mileage, all the accessories. By the time he's done, all within earshot wish they had a car just like it.

  • Sometimes men talk about their wives as if their companions were old clunkers to be ashamed of. That's sad. That being said, wives need to be sure they don't look and act like old clunkers. Wives need to do their parts to look and act like ladies worth admiring — when they do, it does wonders. This is not about being a "trophy wife." No, it's about having qualities worth bragging about. "She's fun to be with. She cares about me. She's a great mom. She makes the best meatloaf ever." Hearing her husband bragging about her to others puts a smile on a woman's face and a warm feeling in her heart.

  • He massages his new car

  • Well, it looks like a massage as he shampoos it so carefully. Then, with the softest cloth, he ever so gently rubs it down until it shines from stem to stern. You can almost hear the car purring with pleasure. The man is glowing when he stands back to admire his prized possession.

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  • A loving massage from one's sweetheart sounds pretty enticing. A gentle touch that says "I love you" is always welcomed. If a woman has had a hard day, a shoulder and back massage relieves her from the pressures of the world. The loving touch of a husband can make a wife want to purr like a kitten too.

  • He buys things for his new car

  • He spends money on it to make it better. He puts high quality fuel in it to keep it running at its peak. He makes sure it has great tires. He keeps a set of tools in the trunk. He buys a Bluetooth hands-free car kit for his smart phone. He enjoys buying little things that enhance his highly valued vehicle.

  • A wife may be thinking how fun it would be to have a few gifts showered on her once in a while. She just wants to feel like she's worth being a little spoiled with a few niceties. When it's her birthday, she always hopes her husband remembers her with a gift of some sort, and it doesn't even have to cost a lot. She just wants him to pay attention to things that would enhance her life. A husband could stop at a floral shop on his way home from work and pick up even just a single rose — maybe some bubble bath or a cute case for his wife's phone. Wives like "gadgets" too.

  • He enjoys being with his new car

  • That's right. Hanging out with it brings him pleasure. Cruising down the road feeling like a king is irresistible fun. He waves to folks he knows as he drives by. He knows they're admiring his car. He feels a little like he's died and gone to heaven. He likes the companionship of his new car. It makes him happy.

  • When a wife feels like her husband enjoys being with her, there's nothing better. When she's sitting by his side and she knows he loves her being there, that's happiness. It makes her feel important — more important than any shiny new car. Cars are temporary. Wives are permanent — or at least they can be when couples have their priorities straight.

  • Treat your spouse with as much — and more — love and attention than you would a shiny new car. You'll be glad you did. Do this, and your marriage will have a greater chance of purring happily along for the rest of your days.

  • See Gary and Joy Lundberg's new

  • 99 e-book "Wake-Up Call: What Every Husband Needs to Know"on amazon.com.

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Gary Lundberg is a licensed marriage and family therapist. Joy is a writer. Together they author books on relationships.

Website: http://garyjoylundberg.com

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