That's a deal breaker: Cringeworthy first dates

Before you take a dip in the dating pool, make sure you've determined your own "deal breakers." Here are a few suggestions from other daters.

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  • We've all been on a date that did not go well. Perhaps it was because of a personality difference, or maybe it was something the person did that was mean, rude, gross or otherwise a total turn-off.

  • Some issues we can look past, but some are deal breakers. This video from Soulpancake talks about some of the things that prevent people from gaining subsequent dates. According to interviewees, these behaviors are dating deal breakers:

    • Talking on the phone, texting, taking pictures of your dinner — basically, so absorbed in your device that you aren't paying attention to your date.

    • Talking about your ex. Yikes.

    • Showing pictures of your pets.

    • Being too serious. Try to laugh and crack a few jokes to show you have a sense of humor.

    • Acting apathetic. People like people who care!

    • Lying. Really, honesty is the best policy.

    • Being late. Show respect for your date and prove that he or she is worth your time by being punctual.

    • Bragging about how many dates you've already had in the past week.

    • Focusing on and talking only about yourself.

    • Bad hygiene. There's really no excuse for poor hygiene. Take a shower, brush your teeth, wear deodorant and take care of any other grooming needs.

    • If you have some odd behaviors — like "meowing" in response to questions — or if you own some strange objects — like, say, a star mobile — save those gems for a few dates later.

  • Basically, dating is all about finding someone who is compatible with you. We all have different likes, quirks or pet peeves. As author, Robert Fulghum, said, "We're all a little weird. And life is a little weird. And when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall into mutually satisfying weirdness — and call it love — true love."

  • Once you've passed that first date and begun a relationship, the real work begins. As you spend time with your special someone, continue to thoughtfully consider whether he or she is a good fit for you in the long run. These marriage deal breakers (guys' edition and girls' edition) can help.

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Wendy is a regular contributor for and does media reviews. Website: for victims of sexual abuse. Blog: Twitter: @WendyJessen


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