10 ways to motivate your husband to take you on a date

Date nights are important, and they take a bit of strategic planning. If your honey doesn’t seem interested, here are some tips to help get him in the mood.

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  • To motivate your husband to take you on a date, you may first need to consider the reasons why he isn't motivated to begin with. This will help you know how to get him in gear and actually want to go out with you. Understanding is the first step to making a change.

  • A wise man by the name of Carl Bard said, "Though no one can go back and make a brand new start, anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending." This has real application in your marriage. If you want dates with your husband to happen, consider these suggestions that just might lead to a brand new, happier ending.

  • 1. Be understanding of his needs

  • He's tired. He's been working away from your home all day and it feels good to be home. When he walks through that door after a busy day at work, pay attention to him. Let him know how happy you are to see him. Hug him. Kiss him. A happy man with a happy wife will do almost anything to please her. Just give him a little time to unwind.

  • 2. Let him know you want to go out on dates

  • He may be clueless about this. You may be steaming inside about his insensitivity to your needs when, in fact, he isn't even aware of how important this is to you. Stop the internal steaming and do some gentle heart-to-heart talking to him about how you feel. By all means, don't start with "You never..." You won't get anywhere with that approach. You might start the conversation with a comment like, "Honey, there's something that's really important to me. May I share it with you?" Then tell him about your desires without being accusatory, acting hurt or acting neglected. Let him know you want to be with him and have some fun away from the everyday duties.

  • 3. Define what a date is

  • It's not an evening out with the kids. It's an evening out without the kids. He needs to know he's your priority, and this is one way to prove it. A date is stepping away from the usual into the realm of the unusual. It's taking a break from the stresses of life and just enjoying being with each other. Most men will welcome this idea.

  • 4. Think about the kind of date he would enjoy

  • If you want to go out to dinner, find a restaurant that offers some of his favorites. A friend said, "I know my husband loves barbecue, so if I suggest a place that serves the best barbecue in town, he's on board." If he gets his favorites sometimes, he'll be open to your favorites other times.

  • 5. Look pretty for the occasion

  • Dress up a bit. It's fun to be with a woman who cares about how she looks. Make him proud to have you by his side. That doesn't mean you have to get all fancied up every time you go out, but you need to change into something attractive, even if it's those trendy jeans with glitter on the back pockets. That alone will put specialness into the date. Make the man proud to be with you.

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  • 6. Make it easy

  • Have a few plans in place, like a babysitter. If you wait until the last minute to call a babysitter you may be out of luck. Plan ahead. Make reservations at a restaurant or buy movie tickets online.

  • 7. Vary the type of dates you go on

  • If you always do the same old thing, it's going to be less inviting to go. Keep it interesting and within your budget. Consider the kind of movie he might enjoy. Tempt him with an action-filled adventure on the big screen. If he enjoys being in nature, consider a hike with a picnic at the end. If he loves sports, get some tickets to a game.

  • If you're thinking this is all about him, it's not. As you please him with things he enjoys, you will be surprised how much you start to enjoy them too. You will also find that, as you please him, he will be more open to pleasing you with your favorites. Being a happy couple is all about pleasing each other. Religious leader, Gordon B. Hinckley, said, "True love is not so much a matter of romance as it is a matter of anxious concern for the well-being of one's companion."

  • 8. Sometimes, include another couple you both enjoy being with

  • Check with your husband to see whom he would like to include. That's respectful. If it's a couple he enjoys, he'll be more inclined to go.

  • 9. Keep the conversation positive

  • If your husband thinks that, during the date, he's going to be inflicted with complaints about all the negatives that are going on, he won't welcome a date at all. You won't enjoy it either. Fill the conversation with positive talk.

  • 10. Pick a day of the week and make the dating consistent

  • Many couples like to go out on Friday night. It's something fun to look forward to at the end of a busy week. It may have to change to a different day, at times, but for the most part, if you choose a certain day and stick to it, it will become a tradition filled with happy memories.

  • Dating keeps the spark in your marriage. You may need to be the instigator at first. If you want him to initiate a fun date, just say the words. "Honey, surprise me with a date-night idea. I would love it." Then, when he does, you better darn well love it, or at least do your best to enjoy it. That will be motivating.

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Gary Lundberg is a licensed marriage and family therapist. Joy is a writer. Together they author books on relationships.

Website: http://garyjoylundberg.com

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