10 reasons why you should be having sex on a regular basis
Difficulties surrounding sex is one of the most common reasons couples fight in a marriage. But despite all the fights it can cause, there are lots of reasons you should be doing it and doing it regularly. Here are ten.
As a marriage counselor in Denver, CO, I see a lot of couples who come to me because of difficulties in the bedroom. In fact, it's one of the more common reasons couples come to counseling. Unfortunately, a lot of couples fight about sex without realizing the great things it can do for your relationship (and for you personally). There are lots of other good reasons to be having sex often. Here are 10:
1. Sex is a metaphor for the rest of your relationship
When a couple is having a good relationship they're usually having a good sex life, too. And the reciprocal is true as well. That is, if they're struggling in the bedroom, they're usually struggling in their relationship. The bedroom and your relationship are inseparably connected. So connecting in the bedroom as often as you can will force you to connect outside the bedroom more often, too.
Think of all the time you spend browsing Facebook at night. Sure, it's nice to catch up with old friends and see what everyone's up to. But when you think about it, no one is more important than your spouse. And even though you may see silly videos of pets or cute videos of other peoples' kids, you can't emotionally connect on facebook as much as you can with your partner in the bedroom.
3. It's good for your health
It's true. Several studies show that sex has many health benefits. For example, sex increases your heart rate, burns calories, helps you sleep better and is even associated with less stress. Not to mention that it promotes a stronger immune system and may even help you live longer.
4. It brings you closer together
Sex is the one thing that sets you and your spouse apart from being roommates. And it's the only thing you share uniquely with each other that you don't share with anyone else. Because of that, it becomes a unique way for you and your spouse to express romance, love and passion to each other in ways you can't express anywhere (or with anyone) else.
5. It's like going on a date — at home
If you have kids, you know how hard it is to go out. You have to find a babysitter, find a place to go that you both like and then be back in time to get your babysitter home. And even when you do go out, there's no promise that you're going to like the movie or the restaraunt that you end up going to. But having sex often is like going out on dates that you're sure to like. And you don't even have to leave the comfort of your own home. Plus, because you don't have to leave the house you can do it as often as you like — without having to find a babysitter.
In addition to being a lot of fun, sex is an exercise in communication. During sex, you're regularly communicating to your partner about what you like, what you don't like or what you want them to do. There's nothing more intimate and vulnerable than the communications you're having inside the bedroom. And the benefits this has outside the bedroom are great as well.
7. It's fun
Sure, it might be fun to watch one of your favorite shows before you go to bed. But making love to your spouse is a lot more fun.
8. The big "O"
During orgasm, a neurotransmitter called oxytocin gets released into certain parts of your brain. And scientists are finding that oxytocin is one of the key ingredients for humans to form love, trust, bonds and reduce fear. It's also one of the reasons that orgams feel so pleasurable.
9. It helps you grow as a person
In an healthy intimate relationship, you have to be comfortable with yourself. If you're embarassed abour your appearance or shy about asking for what you want, the bedroom can help you overcome these difficulties.
As a woman, it's hard to feel feminine when a good chunk of your day is spent wiping boogers and making sure toothpaste splatter is cleaned off the mirrors. And as a man, it's hard to feel masculine when you're being a chauffeur and servant to your kids. Sex helps you feel like you. It reminds you of your femininity and masculinity. And it reminds you of your unique relationship with each other.
Aaron Anderson is a therapist and Director of The Marriage and Family Clinic in Denver, CO. He is a writer, speaker and relationship expert. Checkout his blog for expert information on how to improve your relationship.